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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22840441">How to Pull Your Life from the Ashes</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/AwakeAt2AM/pseuds/AwakeAt2AM'>AwakeAt2AM</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Awkward Flirting, Blood and Violence, Canon Divergence, First Time, Hurt/Comfort, I'm always on the path of making this better and more cohesive while I'm juggling life stuff, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Memory Loss, Minor Character Death, Noa makes people talk to each other because I can't physically alter the game code, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sex, Sibling Bonding, There is some fluff and gay in here I swear, edits and chapters added at my discretion which is when I think of them, it just happens to come with a lot of canon-typical angst, this is a big fat passion project my guys</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 15:34:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>27,614</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22840441</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/AwakeAt2AM/pseuds/AwakeAt2AM</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Noa doesn't remember anything before four years ago, when he was pulled screaming and crying from the forest and into life with House Ordelia. They keep him safe, warm, and well cared for. They even send him off to the Officers Academy with his younger sister Lysithea. His old life begins to pull him back in the form of Edelgard von Hresvelg, who claims to be his sister by blood. Then a new life begins to grip him by the throat in the form of the very attractive and cunning Yuri Leclerc.</p><p>Garreg Mach Monastery really isn't the quiet place Noa thought it would be.</p><p> </p><p>Featuring TrickyBunny's characters Lore and Lyric Eisner, with Lore Eisner being the Sothis Container<br/>Chapters will be added as I write them~ NSFW chapters will be marked as such, and will always be their own separate chapters so you can read at your leisure.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd &amp; Edelgard von Hresvelg, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd &amp; OC, Edelgard von Hresvelg &amp; Lysithea von Ordelia, Edelgard von Hresvelg &amp; OC, Lysithea von Ordelia &amp; OC, Yuri Leclerc/OC</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>45</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Rekindled</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Officers Academy is a stepping stone for Edelgard, in memory of all her lost siblings. Soon to be in memory of her father. She will study hard, train hard, work hard, and maybe she could disengage Fodlan from this awful path it’s been hurtling down.</p><p>It’s a normal evening, she thinks. Hubert walks by her side as they go over Manuela’s theories on white magic when utter happenstance catches Edelgard’s attention. They pass by the courtyard when two students emerge from the Golden Deer classroom. It’s nothing odd, really, except for one detail that Edelgard can’t help but notice.</p><p>Both of them have stark white hair.</p><p>The girl is small, with a delicate frame hidden under her thick academy uniform. The boy who walks with her isn’t as wiry. His hair is tied back while the girl’s is let down. That detail is insignificant, but then Edelgard notices the boy’s jawline. It’s the spitting image of her father’s.</p><p>The boy sheds his jacket and carries it over his shoulder, laughing in an easy manner as the girl rolls her eyes. There is no mistaking him. She’d seen that face when her family was screaming in the dark. He <em>was</em> one of her family, writhing in pain right beside her. How can he be here?</p><p>“Lysithea and Noa von Ordelia,” Hubert says. “Rumors surround Lysithea about the same ordeals you’ve gone through. Noa is a recent addition to House Ordelia. Not much is known about him in earnest. House Ordelia has kept him somewhat of a secret.”</p><p>Edelgard lifts a hand before she can get the words out. Hubert stops, as he always does. She’s not sure there are words for it, now that she feels it. Lysithea says something dry and annoyed, and Noa makes a sort of snort-laugh that Edelgard remembers from before she was even six years old.</p><p>Then Edelgard is running, tears in her eyes, before she can come up with the good sense to stop. In less than a handful of moments, her arms are wrapped around this boy. She holds tight enough that she feels like she might burst.</p><p>“W-whoa!” He starts. “Uh-”</p><p>“Adrian!” She cries. “Oh, Adrian, I thought you were- I thought you were dead! Where have you even been?!”</p><p>Noa stiffens like a board in her grip. He trembles and whines, and Edelgard thinks it’s because he remembers, sees it all with enough clarity to recognize her. But he won’t open his arms to her in return. Edelgard feels cold, so cold, as though she’s right back in those dungeons.</p><p>When she pulls back to look at her brother, his eyes are so far away that Edelgard worries for a second that maybe, just maybe, this is some elaborate trap. But, no. Tears fall from his cheeks. He does recognize her after all-!</p><p>“Noa, hey, breathe,” Lysithea says by his side.</p><p>She grabs his arm. Magic crackles around his fingertips, then dissipates. Red and white sparks hissing in the open air and a change in the air. Warp magic. Edelgard knew it, as did Hubert, and the other dastardly Slither cretins. No one in the open could have ever learned it. This is Adrian. There is no doubt whatsoever.</p><p>“Liss,” He says, reaching for the other girl’s hand.</p><p>“It’s alright.” She takes it and holds tight, glaring up at Edelgard. “What do you think you’re doing?”</p><p>Edelgard feels like she might as well be drowning. “I’m- I’m reuniting with my brother!”</p><p>Noa shivers, sinking into himself. “M-Miss, you- you don’t-”</p><p>Lysithea wedges herself between Edelgard and the boy in front of her, even shoving Hubert back when he attempts to intervene. “You two need to go. Stop bothering Noa.”</p><p>*</p><p>“Your Highness,” Hubert says. “That was rather careless. Are you sure that Noa is who you think he is?”</p><p>Edelgard trembles from her seat on her bed. “I’d recognize him anywhere. I… I thought he was dead, but I never saw a body. That magic he was about to use, that was warp magic. Maybe… Maybe he escaped. He was always so adept with magic.”</p><p>Hubert pulls her desk chair over to sit opposite his liege. “And yet he’s with Lysithea von Ordelia.”</p><p>“We visited Ordelia territory once, when we were very small. The theories behind warping oneself only say that you need to have been somewhere before.” Edelgard ran her hands through her hair. “There’s no real stipulation about how clear the memory is.”</p><p>Hubert sighs, worry pulling at the edges of his mouth. “Lady Edelgard, it’s clear he doesn’t remember you.”</p><p>“Not yet,” Edelgard snaps, and then she winces.</p><p>“You must prepare for the possibility that he doesn’t remember you.”</p><p>Edelgard swallows down the lump in her throat. “I… I’m aware. And the possibility that he may never remember me. No matter how badly I want him to.”</p><p>Hubert is silent, but he does reach for her hand. It’s a quiet kind of comfort, the only kind that Edelgard feels she can accept without completely losing composure. She knows she is safe enough around Hubert to scream and cry as much as she needs, but she hates to do so.</p><p>She takes his hand and squeezes, the only release she allows herself. “He may never remember me, but the fact that he is alive and <em>functioning</em>. That is more than I ever could have asked for. It’s… It’s impossible. A miracle.”</p><p>“A miracle with a price,” Hubert says.</p><p>“Like all miracles,” Edelgard replies. “Yet this is a bargain.”</p><p>*</p><p>Edelgard cannot earnestly say she expects Lysithea or her brother to come to her, but that’s exactly what they do a few days later. They wait until the rest of the class is out of sight before cornering her by the training grounds.</p><p>Lysithea still wears the same daggers from before in her eyes. Adrian, Noa, her <em>brother</em>, has the same set in his eyebrows and mouth that their mother would get when she pulled one of them aside to explain something hard. He’s all earnest and concerned, but this can’t possibly compare to being told about losing one of the family dogs.</p><p>“I’m Noa von Ordelia,” he says. “Just call me Noa for now, okay?”</p><p>Edelgard takes a deep breath. “Alright.”</p><p>“Noa’s story is really complicated,” Lysithea says. “But if your claim is accurate, and you don’t dye your hair, then we’ve all been through the same hell.”</p><p>“I assure you, I don’t joke around about such serious matters.”</p><p>Noa sighs, crossing his arms in front of him. “I don’t remember much of my life from before being found by House Ordelia.”</p><p>Edelgard smiles bitterly. “I… suspected you didn’t remember me. I’m not surprised.”</p><p>Noa’s face is an unintentional mirror. “I’m sorry.”</p><p>Edelgard shakes her head. “No, no, it’s fine. It’s a miracle that you’re alive Adri- ah. Noa.”</p><p>Lysithea hummed, appraising the two. “…Hm. Alright, I can see some resemblance.”</p><p>“They used to call us twins, even though you’re a year older than me,” Edelgard said. “Once I was big enough, Noa and I could dress in the same clothes and Father would have such a hard time telling us apart. Mother would scold us, but she could never stop smiling.”</p><p>“Is that so?” Noa asks. His posture begins to relax, though Lysithea is still doubtful.</p><p>Edelgard nodded. “Yes. I’d wager we bear the same Crests, too. If you require solid proof, we could always pay Professor Hanneman a visit. We’d be a rather odd case, but I don’t think he’d mind.”</p><p>“And if you’re wrong, and you and Noa aren’t related?” Lysithea asks.</p><p>Edelgard bites her lips. This is a big enough risk as it is, and yet…</p><p>“Then you’ll have my deepest apologies for my behavior,” Edelgard says. “And I won’t bother either of you again.”</p><p>Lysithea and Noa look at each other. Apprehension nests in Lysithea’s forehead and the way her nose pinches, but Noa nods.</p><p>“If it means I learn a little about my past,” Noa says, “I’d like that. I’m still a part of House Ordelia, but… I’d like to know for sure.”</p><p>Edelgard tries to force down the feelings of joy that bubble up in her chest. “I appreciate that, Noa. And know that I would not so much as even make you think of leaving House Ordelia. That isn’t my intention.”</p><p>*</p><p>“Now, I assure you that the machine doesn’t hurt,” Hanneman says, gesturing to the analyzer embedded on the floor. “I read in your file that you have an aversion to needles. I promise you, there will be no invasive tests unless you consent to them.”</p><p>Noa’s lips are a fine line as he nods. “As long as we’re clear on that, we’ll get along just fine.”</p><p>Hubert huffs in the corner, warily eyeing the Crestology specialist. Hubert mouths “are you sure this is a good idea?” to Edelgard, but she just turns back to Hanneman and Noa. Lysithea stands on Noa’s other side, putting a gentle hand on Noa’s back.</p><p>“Just hold out your arm,” Hanneman directs. “Miss Lysithea, you may want to let go of Noa. It shall only take a moment for it to register.”</p><p>“Okay.” Lysithea takes a half step back, but keeps her eyes trained on Noa.</p><p>Edelgard follows suit, just in case. All of the technology in Hanneman’s study is his own creation, and thus she doesn’t know how it works. For once, skirting around the Slither was unsettling instead of reassuring.</p><p>“Now, hold your arm out,” Hanneman directs.</p><p>Noa does as he’s asked, palm up. He tries not to clench his fist. The screen below lights up, and a soft hologram springs to life in front of the group. Lines cross over each other in an almost indistinguishable manner, but the bottom half of the Crest of Seiros can be distinguished among the looped W-shape.</p><p>Hanneman gasps. “That is certainly the Crest of Seiros, but the rest of it… My, Noa, you are quite a mystery.”</p><p>Noa freezes in place, tilting his head and examining the crests himself. “Seiros, like… Like the Empire’s royal family?”</p><p>“Indeed. It’s rare to see the Crest of Seiros materialize outside of that bloodline.” Hanneman strokes his mustache. “Oh, Noa, you can put your arm down. Miss Edelgard, I believe you wanted to compare?”</p><p>She nods. She can feel Hubert’s worried gaze in the back of her skull, but this is far more important to her. This is Adrian. Noa. Her brother. The last of the Hresvelg family aside from herself and their father. She pats Noa’s shoulder, startling him out of his own thoughts. He draws back, and Edelgard holds out her own arm. The machine whirrs as it clears itself, and then the screen alights with the same image. The same muffled Crest of Seiros, and the same looped W-shape.</p><p>So, the Slither had two surviving candidates. Only, they are never going to learn that.</p><p>“I say!” Hanneman exclaims. “Edelgard, if you’d step back for a moment. I’d like to check my machine…”</p><p>Edelgard makes a slight noise of confusion, though it’s mostly for show. “Is something wrong, Professor?”</p><p>“Now, I can’t rule out the possibility that you two are an exact match. However, I want to make sure my equipment didn’t simply decide to favor Noa’s Crests.” Hanneman explained.</p><p>He removed the lid, tinkering with a few intricate moving parts. Hubert tapped Edelgard on the shoulder while Lysithea and Noa are otherwise engaged.</p><p>“So, your hunch was correct,” he whispers. “You do realize this complicates things.”</p><p>“I know,” Edelgard replies. “Every miracle has its price.”</p><p>“How odd. I can’t say I’ve ever had two siblings bear an exact match, but that’s all I can surmise has happened.” Hanneman sighs, replacing the lid. “Noa, Edelgard, would you two mind returning at some point? There are a few more tests I’d like to run.”</p><p>Hubert gives Edelgard a pointed look, but, surprising them both, Noa is the first one to speak.</p><p>“Professor, no disrespect, but I really don’t wish to undergo anything more invasive than this.”</p><p>Hanneman frowns and sighs out his nose, but his tone is still calm. “That is a shame, but I’ll respect your wishes. I hope you’ll reconsider in time.”</p><p>Noa smiles with as much grace as he can muster. “Should I ever change my mind, you’ll be the first to know.”</p><p>*</p><p>“I’d like to get to know you better,” Edelgard says. “Not Adrian, but Noa.”</p><p>Noa smiles, soft and sad. “I’m sorry I can’t quite be the brother you remember.”</p><p>“Nonsense,” Edelgard replies. “Time has changed us both. Neither of us can be who we were, regardless of memory. Now, tell me about life in House Ordelia.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Masquerade</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Lysithea wonders what Edelgard is really up to. Noa wonders about his own memories. Somehow, Sylvain comes up in conversation.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“What do you make of her, really?” Lysithea asks.</p><p>They sit in Lysithea’s room, Lysithea at the head of the bed and Noa at the foot of it. Noa leans on his knees, and Lysithea clutches at her pillow, hugging it like one of her stuffed toys. She looks at him with wide eyes, filled with a million uncertainties.</p><p>“She’s familiar,” Noa says after a minute. “I’m not sure how to explain it.”</p><p>Lysithea frowns, petal-pink eyes drooping at the edges but squinting all the same. “She looks like us, that’s for sure. And your Crests…”</p><p>Noa shrugs. “So, we’re blood siblings.”</p><p>Lysithea grunts, fingers clenching and unclenching around the pillow’s corners. “I just… I know what we’ve all been through, but I can’t help but think maybe she’s up to something.”</p><p>Noa raises an eyebrow. “<em>How</em>? If she’s been through what we’ve been through…”</p><p>“She’s still Edelgard, the Imperial Princess, and you’re just Noa von Ordelia.” Lysithea sighs.</p><p>Noa grips at his pants, looking away from his adoptive sister. “Do you seriously think she has more power than the people who did this to us?”</p><p>Lysithea bites her tongue. “I’m just worried.”</p><p>Noa’s smile is tight, false. “I know. I know you are.”</p><p>“Whatever they did to you was worse than what they did to me, evidently, because you don’t remember properly. And <em>she</em> remembers-”</p><p>“Liss,” Noa interrupts. “Different people deal with the same thing in different ways. My response was to shut down. Hers must have just been something different. Like yours was.”</p><p>Lysithea opens her mouth to argue, and then lets it fall shut. She sighs out her nose, leaning her chin on her pillow. “I just don’t want you to get hurt. Not anymore, never again. The day we found you… Noa, it really was worse than any state I was ever in.”</p><p>Noa’s face scrunches up at one side. “Liss…”</p><p>“I mean it!” She says. “You have so many more scars than I do. You <em>fought back</em>.”</p><p>Noa winces, closing his eyes. Something nags at him at the back of his mind, loud but blunted. It’s like hearing a scream underwater, he thinks, blurry and with suffocating pressure.</p><p>“It’s not like you’ve seen her naked, Liss,” Noa reminds. “She could have scars just as bad as I do.”</p><p>“I know, but-”</p><p>“And you’ve seen me. I do what I can to hide them.” He looks at Lysithea out of the corner of his eye. “I thought you wanted to get to know her, too?”</p><p>“I did- I <em>do</em>, I just…” She shakes her head, looking more defeated than Noa’s seen her in a long time. “The people who did these things to us, they play dirty. I can’t help but wonder.”</p><p>“So, we be careful with what we say,” Noa says. “Like we always do.”</p><p>Lysithea huffs. “Yeah… I suppose that’s the only thing we can do. Her attendant just looks so much like one of <em>them</em>.”</p><p>Noa’s brow furrows. “Hubert? I… I guess I just don’t remember enough.”</p><p>Lysithea winces. “That’s probably for the better, actually.”</p><p>“Goddess, I wish I could just remember more,” Noa sighs, rubbing at his face. “It’d make so much of this less confusing.”</p><p>“No,” Lysithea says, grabbing a hold of his arm. “No, you- you really don’t want that. You know what? Forget I even said anything.”</p><p>Noa grunts and leans back on Lysithea’s bed, holding his arms out. “Liss. I know you have good intentions, but I do kind of want answers now.”</p><p>Lysithea face-plants into her pillow, grumbling at herself in that way she always does.</p><p>“You’ve always been a good motivator,” Noa jokes. “Maybe it’ll answer some questions about why they put two Crests in you, too?”</p><p>“I know already, it was a test,” Lysithea sighs. “It was a test to make sure that it could work in theory. You and Edelgard were likely who they really wanted. And the Crest of Flames…”</p><p>“Alright,” Noa says, holding his hands up to bookend the air. “Say Edelgard is completely under their control. Doesn’t that mean she’d know all the inner workings?”</p><p>“Not necessarily,” Lysithea replies. “But maybe more than we do.”</p><p>“I’m not saying I want to trust her with everything right away. I just… I want to know what she does.”</p><p>Lysithea plops down next to her adoptive brother, resting her head on his shoulder. “I know. And I don’t blame you. If my memory was gone I’d- well, I’d probably try to fix it somehow.”</p><p>Noa smirks. “Yeah, you’d find a spell for it or something. Pull it right out of the air.”</p><p>Lysithea sticks her tongue out. “There isn’t a spell for regaining memories, though.”</p><p>“Like you <em>wouldn’t</em> try to make one?”</p><p>She laughs. “Maybe I’d try. Who knows? Maybe we’ll learn something like it in the lectures to come.”</p><p>“I can see it now. It’ll be our final project for Manuela’s classes. We’ll come at them with formulae they’ve never even seen before, and we’ll knock everyone’s socks off with all the embarrassing memories they’d forgotten.”</p><p>“Oh? So our classmates will be the test subjects?” Lysithea asks.</p><p>Noa shakes his head. “No, <em>I</em> will. I’ll get my unpleasant shit out of the way, have my answers, and everyone else can revel in a cool party trick they can use to deflect conversations from their eventually failing marriages.”</p><p>Lysithea smacks her hand over her mouth to contain laughter that’s too big for her small body. She squeezes her eyes shut, trying to hold back a few tears. All Lysithea really accomplishes is making her bed wiggle as she kicks her feet on the mattress.</p><p>“You sound like Sylvain!”</p><p>Noa can’t contain his own laughter at that. “That’s the first thing you say?”</p><p>“But isn’t that just like him?” She says. “Isn’t that something he’d <em>use</em> that spell for?”</p><p>“Ouch, Liss,” Noa snickers. “I hope he wouldn’t have to use a spell for that. That’d be too sad.”</p><p>“He deflects everything, though,” Lysithea sighs. “I realized that the other day. He asked me and Annette to help him study up about reason-based casting. He’s good. When Annette asked him about it, though, he just said that it was all natural talent and that it didn’t mean anything.”</p><p>Noa winces. “Ouch.”</p><p>“I know!” She says. “Nobody learns formulae that fast without working really hard at it. It’s like all his confidence evaporated. Maybe it was never really there to begin with.”</p><p>“Oh,” Noa says. “Double ouch.”</p><p>Lysithea pinches the bridge of her nose. “I guess that’s what I’m worried about with Edelgard, too. How much of it is real?”</p><p>“We probably won’t know until something like that happens,” Noa sighs. “So we just have to hang in there until it does, then we’ll see what we can and go from there.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Lysithea says. “That’s… That’s probably all we can do right now.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Five Words</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dimitri overhears something that doesn't make sense.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Edelgard’s intonation and the cadence of her speech hasn’t changed, even in the slightest. It’s a familiar thing, a reminder of happier times. Or. It should be.</p><p>
  <em>“I thought you were dead!”</em>
</p><p>He’d been tucked away in a corner of the Blue Lions classroom, but he’d been present enough to hear her wail that out. Has he really heard her right? He can’t tell, not really. Dimitri sits awake, turning it over and over in his head as night threatens to slip into day.</p><p>But why would she say something so… is horrid the word? No. Not quite. Horrid would be her saying she wished the subject dead. This is the opposite. He heard the same shrill that was in his voice the first time he’d mistaken Felix for Glenn.</p><p>Edelgard had yelled for Noa von Ordelia using an old name that Dimitri hasn’t heard since he’d given Edelgard the dagger. Adrian. The name of a dear brother she hadn’t heard back from in months. Who she cried for, who she prayed was alright and just busy with something. Studies of magic and swordsmanship and maybe attempting to help with an older sibling’s forays into singing.</p><p>Fiora. Fiora was the singer. What had become of <em>her</em> anyway…?</p><p>
  <em>“I thought you were dead!”</em>
</p><p>Had something happened to the Adrestian Royal Family? Lord Arundel would have mentioned something, wouldn’t he? Of course he would. Why would his uncle hide anything from him? It doesn’t make any sense.</p><p>But Edelgard doesn’t just react like that. Not freely. Even as a child, it had taken her weeks to realize that Adrian wasn’t going to write back, and two weeks after that to be openly distressed about it. Yet another to finally confide in Dimitri, to actually express the worry swirling in her mind.</p><p>Something is wrong here, but he doesn’t know what it is. Not yet. But he will.</p><p>*</p><p>Dimitri is well aware that he shouldn’t make such frequent trips to the library so late at night, yet it’s one of the few times he can find himself unbothered. Sure, evading the knights often proved to be a challenge, but it’s nothing compared to his many trials by fire. Duscur taught him many things.</p><p>And really, what’s a knight going to do to him that hasn’t already been done?</p><p>The register of Adrestian nobles is easy to find, if Dimitri is honest with himself. A feeling strikes his stomach somewhere between fear and disappointment. He had figured it’d take at least three nights of seeking out, but here it is. Somewhat underwhelming, but also a bit worrying. People less skilled than him could find this and manipulate it easily, and that’s saying something. At least in Dimitri’s mind.</p><p>He finds himself in a quiet little corner, easing through pages and pages of things he’s not looking for.</p><p>There.</p><p>He finds it. A ghastly list of nearly a dozen siblings who died within two years of each other. Adrian von Hresvelg’s name is last, citying a mysterious accident where the body couldn’t be recovered.</p><p>Dimitri blinks. How could that even be? This is the ruling house of the Empire. Why would they give up on retrieving the body? There are no details, no reports, just mentions of a vague accident.</p><p>If the body was mutilated beyond recognition, then there’s nothing vague about what happened. Dimitri thinks of Glenn, of how awful he looked, how unrecognizable. In the end, Dimitri recognized his armor more than the man himself.</p><p>Adrian’s entry isn’t the only one like that. Those of Ignis and Fiora cite the bodies were unable to be recovered. Many of Edelgard’s other siblings are listed as having died of illness, some within months of each other, some within mere days.</p><p>Dimitri’s stomach churns. All of the dates listed are after Edelgard had left Fhirdiad, Ignis’ being just shortly after her arrival back in Enbarr. Adrian’s supposed ‘death’ occurred only two days before the Tragedy of Duscur.</p><p>
  <em>“I thought you were dead!”</em>
</p><p>Dimitri can’t help but wonder if Edelgard had to watch all her siblings die somehow. One by one, her family shrunk down until it was just herself and her father. The concept freezes Dimitri in place, even leading him to hold his breath for a moment. He recalls the battlefield, seeing his father’s head roll, the mutilated flesh of the soldiers while he is left all alone.</p><p>Do ghosts plague Edelgard, too? Scream for mercy?</p><p>For vengeance?</p><p>*</p><p>Edelgard looks to fit in well between Noa and Lysithea. Unreal white hair, eyes with varying shades of violet, similar pale skin. Each of them have made sure to cover most of themselves up, as though protecting themselves from some unseen cold.</p><p>The slant of Edelgard’s eyes matches Noa’s, and the particular slant of their fingers and their noses is identical for the most part. It’s only marred by a very slight abnormality in Noa’s nose, a tiny crookedness that indicates a mishealed fracture that was broken to be reset.</p><p>Lysithea is far softer around the edges than Edelgard or Noa. Edelgard may be short, but Lysithea is small in other ways. Rounded where Noa and Edelgard are angled. She has rounder, doe eyes where Edelgard and Noa’s are made of sharper angles.</p><p>Lysithea is not related to them by blood, even if they all share the same hair color now.</p><p>Now… Wait.</p><p>Edelgard’s hair is supposed to be brown, not white, he remembers. Dimitri frowns as he recalls. He <em>saw</em> it. If anyone could get their hands on a method of dyeing hair, it’d be a royal with money at her disposal, but House Ordelia isn’t near as rich, and Lysithea at least seems the pragmatic type, like Felix. If he remembers Edelgard right, she is too.</p><p>Nothing is <em>right</em> about this. Everything is skewed and smudged, and it serves well to give Dimitri a headache.</p><p>There must be some clue somewhere. He just needs to keep looking…</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Echoes of Safety</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Edelgard insists on helping Noa figure out how to trigger his Crests, since he doesn't fight with a blade too often. In the midst of it, he remembers something.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I have a question for you,” Edelgard says. “Do you use your Crests often?”</p><p>Noa purses his lips, squishing them together at one side. “Well, not particularly. I’ve felt them activate when I swordfight, but I’m a mage after all.”</p><p>“I see,” she says, stopping in front of the training ground. “Given that I know exactly what our Crests are, perhaps I should teach you how to use them, should you need to.”</p><p>Noa blinks. “Well, I like to keep my distance…”</p><p>Edelgard’s mouth pulls into a thin frown. “I’m sure, which makes you all the more vulnerable during an ambush. How good are you with swords, exactly?”</p><p>“Better than Liss, but not an expert. Pit me against someone like Felix and I’m, well, toast. Perhaps more than toast.”</p><p>Edelgard tilts her head. “Who do you think you could best? In terms of a straight sword duel, I mean.”</p><p>Noa pauses, stroking his chin absently. “Well. I could probably take Leonie in a sword duel, but only if she also agrees to using a sword. She’d have me cornered with a lance.”</p><p>“And Claude?”</p><p>“He learns everything too quickly. I could likely take him now, but… Only if we agreed on rules beforehand,” Noa says. “Give him three days with a sword and he’ll be giving everyone a run for their money.”</p><p>Edelgard gives a little giggle. “Fair enough. He certainly is in the habit of surprising everyone.”</p><p>*</p><p>Edelgard wonders why Noa’s strikes aren’t landing, up until the training axe goes flying out of her hand. She squeaks as Noa points his training sword at her chest.</p><p>“Well?” He says. “Convinced I’m not helpless?”</p><p>She smirks despite her situation. The signature Hresvelg arrogance shows in spades when satisfaction blooms on his face.</p><p>“I see why your Crests don’t catalyze much,” Edelgard says.</p><p>Noa raises an eyebrow, lowering his sword and bending down to pick up Edelgard’s axe. “Oh? Why’s that?”</p><p>“The Crest of Seiros and Crest of Flames both require a weapon strike to land on a person. Your aim thus far has just been to disarm.” Edelgard takes the axe from Noa’s hand. “Granted, if you only fight to disarm, you’ll put your life at serious risk.”</p><p>“Disarm, then Miasma,” Noa responds. “Tends to work if I have to get that close.”</p><p>Edelgard raises her eyebrows. “So, you can string spells together that quickly?”</p><p>Noa nods. “Numbers and formulae are constant. All I really need is the tip of my fingers. The rest of the show is just funneling.”</p><p>“Interesting,” Edelgard hums. “However, I want to make sure you know how to use your own Crests. Let’s keep going. Really come at me this time.”</p><p>Noa’s eyes widen. “But…”</p><p>“But what?”</p><p>“I don’t want to hurt you.”</p><p>It’s a sweet sentiment, it really is, but it’s not what Edelgard needs Noa to have. She allows herself a moment of softness before taking an attack stance. “Oh? You assume I’ll let you without putting up a fight. There’s no way that’ll happen.”</p><p>Noa looks at her sideways, then gives a little grin. “Okay. You’d better not go easy on me, then.”</p><p>*</p><p>Three, two-</p><p>“Aah!”</p><p>Edelgard winces as the training sword collides with her shoulder, but is nearly overjoyed when she sees the Crest of Seiros appear around Noa. She falls to the floor, but is quick to sit up. Noa’s eyes go wide and he tosses his sword, sweetheart that he is, and kneels by Edelgard’s side.</p><p>“Are you alright? Did I hurt you?” Noa asks.</p><p>Edelgard shakes her head, not bothering to hide her smile. “No, no, nothing beyond a bruise. I’ve probably bruised you, too, today. It’s only fair you return the favor.”</p><p>Noa’s smile is thin. The corners of his mouth are forced up, which only half-hides the pout on his face. “Still…”</p><p>“Regardless, Noa, that was fantastic. A perfect execution of using the power of the Crest of Seiros,” Edelgard says, putting a hand on Noa’s shoulder. “You should be proud. That will come in handy in any future battles.”</p><p>Noa scratches at the back of his head sheepishly. “Yeah. I think I can get it mostly on command now. I dunno about the Crest of Flames, though.”</p><p>Edelgard shakes her head. “Don’t worry about that one.”</p><p>Noa’s face pinches at one side. “Huh?”</p><p>“The Crest of Flames isn’t natural to us. I still can’t get it to catalyze on command, if I’m honest,” Edelgard sighs. “I know what I said, but… Fighting you like this, I think the Crest of Seiros will be enough for you.”</p><p>Noa crosses his legs underneath himself. “…You’re trying to keep me out of whatever this is.”</p><p>“For good reason, Noa,” Edelgard replies. “Please believe that what I keep from you and Lysithea is only meant to protect you both. When the time comes, I’ll tell you both everything.”</p><p>“You promise?” Noa asks.</p><p>Edelgard nods, then gets an idea. She holds out her hand, pinky sticking out. Noa grins on reflex, then stutters. He looks at her hand, then his own, mouth hanging open.</p><p>“We used to do this,” he says. “We used to do this a lot.”</p><p>Edelgard beams. “Yes, all the time. Half our conversations were promises.”</p><p>Noa sticks out his own pinky and wraps it around Edelgard’s. He holds tight, like he’s trying to hold onto those hazy memories. Edelgard doesn’t mind. She holds back just as tight, heart soaring.</p><p>“I promise that when the time is right, I’ll tell you everything,” Edelgard says.</p><p>Noa smiles. “I’ll hold you to that.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. A Minor Test of Skill</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The mock battle is a test in many regards, even ways Lysithea isn't expecting.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lysithea would be lying if she said she hadn’t been preparing for the mock battle. She stands tall with her brother at her side, Claude von Riegan and Lore Eisner towards the front, and the Black Eagles somewhere off in the forest taking up their formation. The Blue Lions set up in the plains to the other side. Lysithea doesn’t mean to gloss them over, not really. They’re just as formidable. She’s just had a bit more to think about when it comes to the Black Eagle class.</p><p>Edelgard. Connected to Lysithea through her brother, and violated in the same ways that she and Noa had been. Lysithea’s mind drifts towards her more than she’d like to admit. She has to be skeptical. She <em>needs</em> to be. The children of House Ordelia were a test. Lysithea has known this ever since Noa arrived on their land, shaking and screaming. As far as those twisted mages know, Edelgard is their only surviving success. There’s no way they don’t control her still, if they were working towards some sort of political domination.</p><p>She takes a deep breath, straightening her jacket. The breeze tickles the back of her hands, and she has to remind herself to stay focused. Today is a different kind of test, and she doesn’t plan to fail.</p><p>Lysithea sees Claude and Lore talking out of the corner of her eye. Well, it’s not so much verbal as it is them talking with their hands. Lore speaks in sign and Claude listens, replying in kind with a few signs that don’t look entirely Fodlan. Lore asks him to clarify, and Claude’s eyes flicker. He breaks it down for her, and Lysithea takes note of what it appears to mean.</p><p>Lure the Black Eagles out into more favorable terrain, and let the Blue Lions charge as they seem to want to do. That seems to be their goal. Claude mentions the need to adjust on the fly, and Lore nods. She whistles then, drawing the group’s attention.</p><p>It’s just as much a test for Lore and Claude as it is for Lysithea herself. Everyone here is being tested, whether they’re aware of it or not.</p><p>Noa puts a hand on her shoulder, startling her out of her thoughts for a moment. “You ready?”</p><p>Lysithea raises her eyebrows, attempting her best neutral-but-pleased expression. “I’m more than ready.”</p><p>Noa lets out a little, satisfied laugh. “Wouldn’t expect anything less, Liss.”</p><p>They take up the positions suggested by their leaders, Lysithea behind Noa on the left flank. Noa twirls his sword in his hand, eyes fixed on the forest. Raphael keeps his eyes open at the front, while Hilda stands in the center alongside Marianne. Lorenz and his cousin Ariadne mirror Lysithea and Noa’s positions. Lore and Claude take up positions on either side of the primary healer.</p><p>Jeralt Eisner calls out for the mock battle to begin.</p><p>Glory-seeking as he is, Ferdinand charges forth ahead of the Black Eagle class. Hubert follows after him, undoubtedly muttering curses under his breath. Edelgard calls out to thank him, and Lysithea nearly laughs at the display. Not at Hubert or Ferdinand, but at just how much like a tired mother Edelgard sounds.</p><p>It almost makes the situation feel normal. Almost.</p><p>The Blue Lions charge, just like predicted, and it turns out to be nothing that their line can’t handle. The Lions are pushed back, many already retreating for having been bested. They’re too honest, Lysithea thinks. It would be endearing if Claude didn’t take such advantage of it.</p><p>The Eagles are just a bit different. More careful, save Ferdinand, who handles Raphael’s axe very well considering the circumstances. The Eagles kite from a fair distance, but Lysithea and Noa are able to reply in kind. Claude nods at them approvingly, as if to say ‘keep it up’ without losing his place in the fight.</p><p>Noa and Lysithea do keep it up. It’s not the Battle of the Eagle and Lion, the stakes aren’t nearly so high, so it doesn’t take quite as long as it might otherwise. People are still getting used to the feeling of having weapons in hand.</p><p>She almost doesn’t notice Edelgard approach.</p><p>Lysithea can’t help but find it curious how Edelgard doesn’t raise her axe. She has a clear path to strike at Noa, what with him still distracted with Dorothea, but she doesn’t take it. Sentiment, maybe? If so, that’s somewhat of a relief. Or is Edelgard merely mustering up the courage…?</p><p>Lysithea doesn’t give her the opportunity to make a decision, firing off a minor Miasma spell to knock Edelgard off her feet. It flies true, leading the princess to double over. Noa turns immediately when Edelgard cries out, and Lysithea almost regrets her action when Dorothea starts to call an array into being.</p><p>Claude snuffs out that threat with a well-placed warning shot. Dorothea tumbles, and Noa is out of range of the enemy.</p><p>Edelgard’s gaze flicks to Lysithea. There’s something curious in that violet gaze, in the serenity of it despite having been nearly knocked on her ass. Gratefulness? No, Lysithea can’t be reading that right. Who would be grateful for falling victim to a cheap shot?</p><p>Then Edelgard retreats, full of dignity and without a drop of frustration. When Jeralt calls out that the Golden Deer are the victors, Lysithea can’t help but wonder if she’s passed more than one test in the same breath.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Sparks</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Insomnia strikes, leading Noa to wander around Garreg Mach. He meets someone very curious.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Garreg Mach is a boon for late night wanderers who don’t want to get caught. One moment Noa ducks into a disused tunnel to avoid the night watch, and suddenly he finds himself wandering through a torch-lit labyrinth. He walks easily along the stone paths, trying to remember which ones he’d taken. It doesn’t matter terribly much, as he can warp himself away, but he thinks it might be nice to take the route again when another bout of insomnia hits.</p><p>He had so much to think about these past few weeks. Edelgard keeps stirring up memories in Noa, and he still isn’t sure quite what to feel. Lysithea keeps telling him to be careful, and he tries, but there is something about Edelgard that brings a sense of familiarity.</p><p>He remembers being young, running around a castle of decadent red and gold with someone in tow…</p><p>“Whoa there, stranger,” a voice says. “Normally I wouldn’t be so kind to an intruder, but you don’t seem to know where you’re going.”</p><p>Noa blinks as he’s pushed back by the shoulder. There is a man in front of him with deep violet and white academy attire, long, lavender hair, and a glossy smile that leaves Noa’s breath caught in his throat for a minute. This might be the most beautiful person that Noa has ever seen, and there were plenty of pretty boys at the Academy.</p><p>The mysterious man grins at Noa’s expression. “Well, that’s always a pleasant face to see.”</p><p>Oh no.</p><p>Noa tilts his head away with an awkward smile. “I imagine someone like you sees that a lot.”</p><p>The man laughs. “Maybe. Though not usually when trying to keep an outsider from stepping in a trap he’s looking right at.”</p><p>Noa stills, then looks at the ground. Sure enough, a warping trap lay right in his path. Judging by the sigils, it would warp him somewhere deeper into the system of tunnels. Noa himself wouldn’t be screwed, but he can only imagine what it would be like to be a wanderer who couldn’t warp himself away.</p><p>Noa gives a little sigh, stepping back. “Ah, sorry. Seems I’m a bit lost in my own head tonight.”</p><p>The man’s eyes are jovial. “Apologizing for not falling into a trap. Wow. That’s a first.”</p><p>Noa shrinks in embarrassment, covering his mouth with his hand and ducking his head. “Guess I’m just not the typical person. Don’t worry, I won’t linger.”</p><p>“Hang on.” The man reaches out to catch Noa’s other wrist. “What were you doing here to begin with? I’m dying of curiosity. Abyss isn’t the best place for someone as cute as you.”</p><p>Heat rushes to Noa’s face. “Then that’d go doubly so for you, kind sir.”</p><p>The man laughs, clear but low. “Flattery won’t get you anywhere with me, but it certainly is appreciated. Now, I really would like an answer.”</p><p>Noa coughs in surprise. Goddess, why did this stranger have to be both attractive and this flirtatious? He takes a moment to get his mind out of the gutter, though it turns out to be as effective as trying to wrestle a salmon out of the water with one’s bare hands.</p><p>“Insomnia. I wander when I get insomnia,” Noa answers.</p><p>“My, what could keep someone as pretty as you awake?” the man asks. “You’re an Officer’s Academy student, aren’t you? Don’t you have your life cut out for you?”</p><p>With that, Noa’s heartbeat begins to even out. He tilts his head at this mysterious stranger. “Far from it, actually. I suppose it’s actually rather complicated. And you’re in Academy uniform, too. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you at lectures.”</p><p>“Hm,” the man hums. “Well, that’s complicated, too.”</p><p>Noa nods. “Is your curiosity sated yet?”</p><p>The man snorts. “Oh, far from it. I shouldn’t expect you to lay your cards on the table, though.”</p><p>“Good, because I can’t say I know what all of my cards mean yet.”</p><p>The man pauses for a moment, thinking. “Mm, maybe you wouldn’t be as ill-suited to Abyss as I thought. Granted, you still seem naïve as hell…”</p><p>“That’d depend on what kind of place Abyss is,” Noa says.</p><p>“Do you not know…?”</p><p>Noa shrugs. “I’m rather new to Garreg Mach.”</p><p>The man gives a wicked little grin. “It’s a den of liars, thieves, murderers and cheats. Anyone above ground will tell you not to come down here if you value your life.”</p><p>Noa raises an eyebrow. “And yet one of said ruffians just protected me from rotting in the underground for eternity.”</p><p>“Abyss is also for those with nowhere else to go,” the man says. “If your story’s really that complicated, you might fit right in.”</p><p>Noa’s eyes widen a little, though his shoulders relax. “Huh. If I hadn’t landed where I did, I’d probably be in Abyss by now. If I lived long enough, that is.”</p><p>The man’s gaze only intensifies. “Oh? I’m intrigued, stranger. Could this be fate?”</p><p>Noa shakes his head, though a smile plays on his lips. “I don’t know. What I do know is I’m not about to tell my life story to somebody whose name I don’t even know.”</p><p>“Wise,” the man says. He pauses, only to pinch the bridge of his nose and look back up at Noa. “Call me Yuri.”</p><p>“Yuri. I’ll remember that.”</p><p>“You’re going to want to, especially if you wander back down here again.”</p><p>Noa smiles at Yuri, even though he still isn’t sure what to make of the attractive pool of Abyss knowledge. “You can call me Noa.”</p><p>“Hm. Like the Apostle? Or the fruit?”</p><p>“The Apostle,” Noa says, trailing on a laugh. “I was named for her.”</p><p>“How interesting,” Yuri hums. “Her story isn’t well known.”</p><p>Noa shrugs again. “I know it.”</p><p>Yuri looks at Noa as if analyzing a chessboard, or attempting to figure out what gear is missing from a broken clock. Noa can practically feel Yuri’s mind whirling at him. He isn’t sure why Yuri is interested enough to do so, but Yuri is ridiculously pretty so Noa will gladly take the attention.</p><p>“Do you remember where you came from?” Yuri asks.</p><p>Noa looks over his shoulders, slightly confused. It doesn’t take him too long to figure out which passage fork he’d walked down, not to mention it wouldn’t take much to warp back to his room, but…</p><p>“Ah, I’m afraid I’m a bit lost,” Noa lies. “That’s embarrassing. I really have been too far inside my own head tonight.”</p><p>“Clearly,” Yuri says with a smirk. “Ah, oh well. I guess I can be a Good Samaritan just this once. I’ll show you the way up.”</p><p>Noa feels heat come back to his cheeks as Yuri takes his elbow. “Thank you.”</p><p>Yuri’s expression softens, though he tries to hide it. “Just be careful where you wander from now on.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Rabbit Rabbit</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Yuri spots a familiar face. Noa reveals a fib.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Faces come and go in Abyss. Anyone softer than hardened steel either runs or gets chewed up by someone with a bigger set of teeth. There are kind people in Abyss, sure, but no one soft.</p><p>Which leaves Yuri nothing but surprised when he sees the pretty little Academy kid from a few days ago making idle conversation with the Abysskeeper. The boy looks just as soft and tired as he did that night, and yet he’s here in Abyss instead of safe in his Academy dorm room.</p><p>“For somebody from the surface, you seem pretty alright,” the Abysskeeper says.</p><p>Noa laughs, pleasant like the chime of a bell. “Thanks.”</p><p>Yuri wouldn’t necessarily blame the Abysskeeper for any attractions he might be feeling, Goddess knows Yuri isn’t immune, but it’s not necessarily the Abysskeeper that Yuri’s worried about. A few soldiers pass them by, one stopping to eye the Academy kid.</p><p>Some wolf is going to snatch this rabbit up.</p><p>Yuri walks up the steps, clearing his throat. “And here I thought I told you to be careful where you wander.”</p><p>“Boss!” the Abysskeeper greets.</p><p>The soldier quickly changes course, disappearing back to his post. Yuri can’t blame him either, not really, but Noa just seems so much softer than other surfacers.</p><p>Noa’s face resembles a beam of light, illuminating as he smiles at Yuri. “Ah, so you really weren’t a dream.”</p><p>“Is that why you’re down here again?” Yuri asks, swinging his arm around Noa’s shoulders.</p><p>The boy is warm and malleable under his arm. Comfortable and loosening, fingers trembling ever so slightly as he reaches up to wind his hand in Yuri’s cape in return.</p><p>“What would you say if it was?” Noa asks.</p><p>“I’d ask what other motives you have,” Yuri sighs, pulling him along.</p><p>Noa hums, small enough that it could be the coo of a dove. “Ah.”</p><p>Just like that, Noa’s unfocused as he was before. His gait is slow and his eyes wander without settling on much of anything. He’s distracted beyond what’s safe for any stranger to Abyss. Yuri steers him to a quiet corridor not far from the entrance.</p><p>“Your insomnia could turn dangerous, you know,” Yuri says. “This isn’t a safe place to wander around half-conscious.”</p><p>Noa gives a little snort. “I’m more awake than I look.”</p><p>Yuri doesn’t believe that for a second. “That so? Tell me, then, what’s the <em>real</em> reason you’re down here?”</p><p>“There’s a handful,” Noa says. “I wasn’t lying when I said you were one of them.”</p><p>“Can’t say I’m surprised about that, but the rest, if you would?”</p><p>Noa tilts his head, looking at Yuri out of the corner of his eye. “Insomnia, sure. But also to breathe.”</p><p>Yuri thinks for a moment about making a quip about surface people deciding to charge for breathing air, but then Noa sighs and untangles his hand from Yuri’s cape. The boy leans against the wall, and the bags under his eyes only seem more prominent in the torchlight.</p><p>“I keep running into my past above ground,” Noa explains. “Which would be fine if what I managed to remember wasn’t so damned terrifying.”</p><p>Yuri often tries not to chew on his lips, his face is an asset he can’t afford to lose, and yet he finds himself going through the anxious moment. “Wow, friend.”</p><p>Noa shrugs. “There’s nice stuff, too, but… Y’know. There isn’t a whole lot of it.”</p><p>“So you’re hoping to run from your mind,” Yuri says.</p><p>“Something like that,” Noa sighs. “Here’s hoping it works, yeah?”</p><p>Yuri shakes his head. “I think you’d have better luck forgetting with a bottle of wine, sweetheart.”</p><p>Noa’s mouth flattens into a thin line. “It’s not about forgetting. I’ve had enough forgetting. It’s just…”</p><p>Noa moves his hands in circles, trying to come up with the words. Not to forget or discard, but to…?</p><p>“Everyone expects me to be fine on the surface. You said Abyss is somewhere people with complicated stories can exist.” Noa says.</p><p>Oh no.</p><p>“Noa,” Yuri says. “Abyss will eat you whole if you’re too vulnerable down here.”</p><p>Noa tilts his head. “Then it’s not any different from the surface. I can hold my own.”</p><p>“Really?” Yuri places his hand on the wall behind Noa, half-pinning him in place. “What would you have done if I’d taken advantage of you the night we met? If I did now?”</p><p>Noa snorts, cheeks turning pink. He’s soft as a rose petal. “You didn’t. You won’t.”</p><p>“Don’t be so sure,” Yuri insists. “How would you protect yourself?”</p><p>Noa puts a hand on Yuri’s chest. His fingers are so thin, delicate even. “Do you really want to know?”</p><p>“I do. I’m curious.”</p><p>Noa’s eyes take a dark turn then. Finally, something about the boy that has teeth. “Curiosity killed the cat.”</p><p>“And satisfaction brought it back. Tell me.”</p><p>Noa’s shoulders droop as though he’s giving in. “I’m a mage, Yuri. I can have blown a hole right through your chest within three seconds. Miasma, variant Alpha, with enough percussive force to crush your ribcage. Not that I <em>want</em> to do that, of course.”</p><p>Oh. Yuri looks down at the delicate hand on his chest. “I’m important down here. My men would descend on you.”</p><p>Noa sighs, as though he’s been caught in a lie. “I’d be able to get away.”</p><p>“How?”</p><p>“…I can warp, Yuri,” Noa says. “I can warp myself out of here. And warp myself as far away as I would need to go.”</p><p>Yuri raises an eyebrow, and then it hits him. He leans his head back and laughs. “Oh, Goddess. You weren’t lost, were you?”</p><p>Noa shrugs. “Even if I was, it wouldn’t have mattered much.”</p><p>“Then why’d you ask me to lead you back?” Yuri asks.</p><p>“Come on, you’re smart enough to figure it out,” Noa says, scratching at the back of his neck. “You’re awfully pretty, after all.”</p><p>“Ah,” Yuri hums, giving a little smirk. “I suppose I can’t blame you for falling for me.”</p><p>Noa raises an eyebrow, getting pinker by the second. “You’ll have to do more than that to have me actually fall.”</p><p>“You sure about that? Your face says otherwise.”</p><p>Noa pushes him back a little. “Attraction and love are different. And, personally, I won’t act on the former without the latter. And that only comes with time.”</p><p>“Hence the excuse to talk with me?”</p><p>Noa nods. “They say you need to test the waters first, yeah?”</p><p>Yuri looks at Noa, at his rounded cheeks and crimson eyes. There’s something small and bright caught in his expression, like a sprout starting to take root in the sunlight.</p><p>Is this smart? Is Yuri the one getting lured? Noa looks so damn honest, too honest for Abyss, but…</p><p>Oh, what the hell? Noa isn’t the only one experienced enough to be lethal. Yuri can meet this risk head on if he has to. Clearly Noa thinks the same.</p><p>“Next time you’re looking for an excuse to talk,” Yuri says, “teach me those equations. Can’t hurt to have more skill with magic.”</p><p>Noa breaks into a smile, warm and pure. “Sure, I can do that.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. How to (not) be a Shield</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The Black Eagles and the Golden Deer undertake a mission together. Edelgard learns a little about her brother's supposed crush.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Joint missions between the Golden Deer and Black Eagles often mean Edelgard attempting to keep some semblance of order while Hubert keeps Claude’s schemes in check. The results vary each time, more or less because Claude is more amused by Hubert’s threats than intimidated. While not strictly a good result, in fact it’s the exact opposite, Edelgard does find this amusing herself. It’ll be trouble, and she knows it, but she can’t wholly dismiss her own sense of humor as Hubert gives an annoyed huff and Claude barely restrains a fit of laughter.</p><p>“They seem to get along,” Noa says by her side. “Or, well, as much as Hubert gets along with anybody.”</p><p>And there is the silver lining of the joint operation.</p><p>“Your house leader seems enamored with teasing him,” Edelgard replies.</p><p>Noa snorts. “Claude’s enamored with teasing <em>everyone</em>. Believe me.”</p><p>Edelgard laughs. “Yourself included?”</p><p>Noa scratches at the back of his head, turning his face away. “Oh, definitely. Especially since the Ashen Wolves started showing up more frequently…”</p><p>“Oh?”</p><p>The tips of Noa’s ears turn pink. “That’s a story for another time. We’re coming up on the confrontation. I need to join up with my battalion.”</p><p>Edelgard wants more than anything to press. Unease bursts in her gut, typical fare given what she and her brother have gone through, but there’s also something softer. Something teasing and… happy, even?</p><p>“What? No, what aren’t you telling me?” Edelgard asks.</p><p>“I’ll tell you later,” Noa maintains, doing his best to keep himself from stuttering.</p><p>“Oh, come on,” Edelgard whines. Then she laughs. When was the last time she’d made that tone of voice…?</p><p>Noa is running towards his group, though, and his attention is no longer on her. The group appears rowdy on the surface, but their postures indicate years of skill. Which mercenary band was this?</p><p>“Noa is with a group of Abyss fighters, led by Yuri Leclerc of the Ashen Wolves,” Hubert says.</p><p>Edelgard notices the violet-haired man speaking with Noa. Noa is intently focused on the conversation, as if trying to absorb all of Yuri’s words. Yuri tilts his head and asks Noa a question of his own, luring surprise out of Edelgard’s brother. Yuri studies Noa’s face as though he’s searching for something.</p><p>“Thank you, Hubert,” Edelgard replies. “What do you know about them?”</p><p>“Abyss was, frankly, just a loose conglomeration of bandits and the disenfranchised until Yuri came along. After being expelled from the Academy he took up operations there, and has since become the leader of the Ashen Wolf house.”</p><p>Noa beams at Yuri. Yuri turns his face in such a way that Edelgard can’t get a proper read.</p><p>“Why was he expelled?” She asks.</p><p>Hubert sighs. “It is… uncertain at best, but official documents state that he lashed out and killed members of the church for insisting that he kill the members of the gang he used to run with. The documents in question were not quite up to par with what we’ve come to expect, however. There may be more to the story.”</p><p>Edelgard frowns, stroking her chin. “I see… This could be trouble. Or…”</p><p>Hubert raises an eyebrow. “Or?”</p><p>She catches a brief glance at Yuri’s face in profile as he speaks with Noa. His face is soft, almost completely without tension. There is a way to be relaxed and not let your guard down, but this is not quite it. Yuri’s smile is crooked, imperfect.</p><p>“Depending on his loyalties,” Edelgard says, “he could be an incredible boon.”</p><p>*</p><p>The mission is supposed to be a mere slaying of bandits, retrieving a village’s gold and valuables, and then returning it all. Edelgard does not expect two classes worth of students to be outnumbered. Her axe connects with a bandit’s back and he falls flat, crashing to the ground on top of some of the looted possessions. She is out of breath and sore, only half her battalion remaining at her side.</p><p>This is more than any of them had bargained for. Still, finally, their numbers seem to be thinning.</p><p>Then she feels it. A particular electricity in the air, a smell so sharp and clinical and a sound as sharp as metal in an echo chamber. Hubert isn’t at her side, so it isn’t him. A sense of dread bolts down her spine as she wonders if Thales had-</p><p>A stunted, shrill sound comes through the tree line. Edelgard has to fight to not freeze in place.</p><p>Noa. That sounds like Noa.</p><p>She shouldn’t leave her battalion. She knows it’s a bad idea, but she hasn’t heard that sound out of her brother in a very long time. Something has gone terribly awry, and now Noa was in danger or worse-</p><p><em>No</em>, she begs in her mind. <em>Please don’t be- I can’t lose you too-!</em></p><p>She skids to a halt, catching sight of Noa limp in Yuri’s arms. Their assailant lay with a sword sticking out of his chest, pinning him to the ground. Noa’s battalion, Yuri’s men, begin to encircle them.</p><p>“Set up a perimeter, <em>now</em>,” Yuri commands. “We’re stationary ‘til I say otherwise.”</p><p>Yuri’s palms alight as he musters healing spells, something mathematically stronger than anything Manuela had lectured about yet. Light incantations are strung through the air as the wound on Noa’s chest begins to seal.</p><p>Edelgard wedges herself through the space between two soldiers. Her frame is just a bit too small for them to catch. “What happened?!”</p><p>Yuri measures his breathing, not looking away from Noa. His fingers tremble where they hover above Noa’s chest. “Mage tried to play Armored Knight. Went about as well as you’d expect, the damned fool.”</p><p>Yuri’s tone is sharp, but scared at the same time. She knows that breed of distaste; something similar often rolls off Hubert’s tongue when he’s scared but won’t admit it. Edelgard has a million questions she wants answers to, why would Noa charge in when he functions best at a distance, why would he be compelled to take a hit like this to begin with, why did no one see this coming, but she bites them all back for something more important.</p><p>“Can I help?” She asks.</p><p>Yuri blinks, assessing for a moment. “Hold him up, head up. He’s still breathing and I want to keep it that way.”</p><p>Edelgard does as he asks. “What happened?”</p><p>Yuri speaks slowly as he works, knitting Noa’s skin back together. “He… Noa shoved me out of the way. I don’t know <em>how.</em> One minute he was at least two yards away and then he was <em>right there</em>.”</p><p>Edelgard’s eyes widen. This is why Noa warped?</p><p>Something pained and sad nests between Yuri’s eyes as he pinches the bridge of his nose. A slight smear of blood marks the trail his fingers take. He grits his teeth and gets back to it, and Noa’s eyes flutter open. Noa gasps and coughs, but breathes easier than before.</p><p>“There you are,” Yuri says.</p><p>Noa turns his head towards Yuri, reaching his hand out. Yuri takes it without even a word, allowing Noa the contact while still healing him. Yuri grips Noa’s fingers tight, and Noa grips back. There is a way that Yuri’s face contorts that Edelgard can’t find the proper words for. It’s as if someone is wringing a dishcloth and slamming a porcelain dish into the ground at the exact same time.</p><p>“You alright?” Noa manages.</p><p>“You’re asking <em>me</em> that? How much of a dumbass can you be?” Yuri says, exasperation chasing an edge of concern.</p><p>“Yuri,” Edelgard warns.</p><p>Noa’s attention doesn’t waver. He looks Yuri in the eyes until Yuri caves. It takes less than ten seconds before the anger and annoyance in Yuri’s upturned brows smooth back down into more crumpled worry.</p><p>“Normal scrapes and bruises,” Yuri answers. “’M fine.”</p><p>Noa smiles then, relaxing. “Good.”</p><p>“Be. More. Careful,” Yuri says. “Yeah your men will follow you to the ends of the earth if you’re willing to protect them like that, but you have to <em>live</em> to gain their trust.”</p><p>Noa manages a snort, though he winces. “Noted.”</p><p>“Alright, alright,” Yuri sighs, reaching his arms out. “Give him back to me, and do me a favor. Get Manuela.”</p><p>Edelgard hesitates, but Noa is already trying to sit up on his own. “You make him stay put.”</p><p>Yuri finally meets Edelgard’s gaze. His eyes are the same violet as his hair, an otherwise pretty and delicate color if not for the blood across his face. The edges of his mouth quirk at odd, imperfect angles as he traps Noa in his arms.</p><p>“I will. I promise you that,” he says.</p><p>Noa grumbles at that, but Yuri placing his hand on Noa’s chest is enough to quiet him. Just like that, all of Yuri’s attention is on Noa again, all doubt and apology as he begins another round of healing. If Edelgard is reading the formulae right, Yuri is casting beyond capacity.</p><p>“You can groan when you don’t take an axe to the chest,” Yuri huffs.</p><p>Noa rolls his eyes in an almost too-easy manner, given the situation. It’s a relief, really, seeing Noa react without too much fear in his bones. By all means, he should have more adrenaline-induced terror. Maybe it’d serve him well. Edelgard doesn’t like seeing him like that, though.</p><p>Edelgard stands. “I’ll bring Professor Manuela, or the nearest senior healer I can find.”</p><p>Yuri nods. “Good enough. Thanks.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Aftermath</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Noa decides to be a self-sacrificial idiot. Yuri decides to check on him afterward.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Yuri doesn’t like having debts. He hates them, hates owing people. So when Noa von Ordelia makes the brilliant decision of shoving him out of the way of a near-lethal axe strike, Yuri figures he has to at least pay the idiot a visit. There’s no getting around it, really. If luck is on his side, he’d be able to ask Noa what he wanted in return and call it even.</p><p>What had Noa even been thinking? He could have gotten himself killed. Maybe it’d knocked Yuri into the perfect position, but had Noa been banking on that? It seemed like too big a risk to take. Yuri grimaces at that thought. He’s always weighed the pros and cons of everything, but Noa had just leapt into action. Yuri can’t wrap his head around why.</p><p>They barely know each other. They’d only talked a handful of times before now. It doesn’t make sense.</p><p>Yuri hesitates for a moment before knocking on Noa’s door. “Hey. You in there?”</p><p>There’s a muffled noise of surprise on the other side. “Oh! Yuri. Just a minute.”</p><p>Noa sounds eager and cheery. Good, that means he’s still on the mend. Unfortunately, between the eagerness and cheeriness, there’s also the sound of something large hitting the floor and a rather strained groan. Yuri flinches, grumbling a curse under his breath as he pushes the door open.</p><p>“Oi, you’re on bed rest you idiot. What do you even think you’re doing?”</p><p>Noa flails one arm from where he lies on the floor, flat on his back. “Trying not to go crazy, that’s what.”</p><p>“There’s better ways to do that.” Yuri reaches down, offering his hands to pull Noa back to his feet.</p><p>Noa accepts without a second thought. “Yeah? I’d like some advice then. How do I keep my head on straight when I’m barred from literally everything?”</p><p>Noa is lighter than Yuri thought he’d be. Noa is thin, with just the faintest bit of muscle from sword practice. Not out of the ordinary for a mage, he thinks, but it weighs on Yuri differently this time. Noa isn’t too frail, but he isn’t any larger than Yuri. Noa is an inch taller than Yuri at best, and only half that when Yuri wears heels. It wouldn’t take too much to slice clean through Noa von Ordelia. If that strike was any deeper, Noa would be…</p><p>Yuri braces an arm around Noa’s back to prevent the white-haired boy from falling over again, and Noa hides behind his bangs.</p><p>“Well if that’s your answer, you’d better close the door.” Noa says, a faint blush on his cheeks.</p><p>Yuri lets out a surprised little cackle, rolling his eyes. “If only you were so lucky. When did you get so bold?”</p><p>Noa laughs like little bells, pushing against Yuri’s shoulder. “Then you’d better put me down before I start getting ideas.”</p><p>“Fine, fine,” Yuri concedes, letting Noa down onto his bed. “But don’t try getting up again.”</p><p>“Hey!” Noa sighs. “I just tripped, that’s it. I’m not that unsteady.”</p><p>“Sure, you keep telling yourself that.”</p><p>Noa runs a hand through his hair, accidentally shifting the robe he was using to keep his bandages somewhat hidden. “You ass. To what do I owe this pleasure?”</p><p>“Just making sure you’re still in one piece after being such an idiot,” Yuri replies. “You saved my life. Least I can do is say thanks.”</p><p>“It was nothing, Yuri. Been through way worse for way less.” Noa smiles warmly at him, before a string of seriousness and nerves starts to tug at Noa’s features. “Are you okay? How have you been holding up?”</p><p>Yuri can’t help but feel like wind was knocked halfway out his lungs. That’s still Noa’s concern?</p><p>“Of course I’m okay. You made sure of that,” he says.</p><p>“Look, I was unconscious for a bit. I just…” Noa sighs, propping up his head in his hand. “It would have killed you. Please don’t let an infection or an injury finish that axe’s job, okay?”</p><p>Yuri’s gaze is on Noa’s face at first, the cute pout matched with the concern curling at the edges of his eyelids, because Noa is pretty as a picture even when he worries. But then Yuri’s attention is drawn away by an ugly scar on Noa’s wrist. It wraps around the whole of Noa’s wrist, jagged and thick. A smattering of similar scars traces down Noa’s arm, and up to places Yuri can’t see. He looks at Noa’s other arm and finds a scar on the boy’s other wrist to match.</p><p>Heavy shackles worn far too tight. What the hell had happened to him…?</p><p>Noa raises an eyebrow at him. “Yuri?”</p><p>“Hm? Oh.”</p><p>Noa sighs and straightens his sleeves back down. “Those are old, don’t worry about them. Had them longer than I’ve known you.”</p><p>That doesn’t make Yuri feel any less unsettled. “…I guess you weren’t kidding when you said you’ve had a hard life.”</p><p>Noa shrugs. “I wasn’t lying back then. Don’t think I’ve ever lied to you.”</p><p>A pang of guilt crashes against Yuri’s ribs. It must have crashed onto his face, too, because suddenly Noa is standing in front of him with his hands on Yuri’s arms. Noa’s palms are warm, despite their scars.</p><p>“Hey. I didn’t mean it like that.”</p><p>“I know,” Yuri says. “I remember you said under other circumstances you’d have ended up in Abyss. I get it now.”</p><p>“If the Ordelias hadn’t found me, yes,” Noa replies. “If they hadn’t taken me in. Though… Maybe I would have met you sooner.”</p><p>Yuri is not one to choke on air, but he does anyway. He covers his lapse in composure with a cough. “Trying to lighten the mood I see.”</p><p>“Oh, come on. I’m serious.”</p><p>Noa pouts with that adorable little pout of his, but it doesn’t hit right.</p><p>Yuri looks down at his feet. “…What even happened to you? Before you were adopted?”</p><p>“It’s long, complicated, and messy,” Noa answers.</p><p>Yuri doesn’t speak. He doesn’t know whether he wants Noa to go on or not. Curiosity often lingers with Yuri like a playful pet cat, but this time it is something much worse. It is something that threatens to bite off his arm if he isn’t careful.</p><p>“I… I don’t remember half of it. Noa isn’t even my real name, it’s just something Liss helped me come up with. I don’t remember who I was before all this,” Noa confides. “I was just a screaming kid running through the woods.”</p><p>Yuri bites his lip. He tries not to imagine Noa restrained and beaten up, stumbling around and looking for help. Crying, bleeding, in pain with heavy shackles still bolted onto him. Yuri fails. He fails hard enough that he crashes and burns.</p><p>“Yuri?”</p><p>“When was it?” Yuri asks.</p><p>“About four years ago.”</p><p>Yuri shakes his head. “I wasn’t with Abyss then. Wound up there two years ago.”</p><p>“Maybe our roles would’ve been reversed. Maybe I’d be the one who knew more about the underground, and you’d be the one-”</p><p>Goddess, he hopes he wouldn’t have ended up in Noa’s position. Guilt drives through him like a knife between his vertebrae as he thinks it. He wouldn’t trade his position, messed up as it is, for Noa’s.</p><p>“Look,” Yuri interrupts. “Instead of positing what ifs, if you want to talk I’ll lend an ear.”</p><p>Noa is quiet for a while before he says anything else. Yuri begins to think he should just go until Noa brushes a few loose strands of hair out of Yuri’s face, tucking them behind his ear. Yuri gets a good look at Noa’s eyes then, seeing how rich the red-violet of his irises were, noticing all the little arteries and veins that stemmed from them.</p><p>“It’s bothering you, isn’t it?” Noa says. “I’m sorry.”</p><p>No, no that doesn’t feel right either.</p><p>Yuri grips Noa’s arms, speaking low. “Don’t you dare apologize for existing.”</p><p>“Then stop looking at me like I’m a victim.” Noa says. “Maybe I am, but that’s not all there is to me.”</p><p>“Right. You’re a self-sacrificial idiot, too.”</p><p>Noa rolls his eyes. “Yuri.”</p><p>“Am I wrong?”</p><p>“Am I an idiot for not wanting you dead?”</p><p>“Well, frankly, yes. Considering the lengths you went to.”</p><p>Noa shakes his head. “You’re just as bad as Constance is in the sun right now. What’s gotten into you?”</p><p>Yuri angles his face away from Noa. When was the last time he’d felt so damn transparent? And Noa isn’t backing down. The white haired idiot keeps trying to get into Yuri’s field of view, to the point where Yuri has to shut his eyes to maintain any sense of composure.</p><p>“…Thank you for saving my life,” Yuri says, shakier than he wants to sound. “That’s what I came down here to say. Now sit back down before you aggravate your injuries, or do you want me playing nurse?”</p><p>Yuri finds himself pulled flush against Noa, gentle arms holding on in what might be one of the gentlest embraces he’s felt. Noa von Ordelia is warm and soft, intoxicatingly so. It’s hard not to get wrapped up in the affection, but just as soon as it’d come it’s gone. It leaves something terribly empty behind that Yuri tries not to give voice to.</p><p>“Thanks for coming to check on me,” Noa said. “It means a lot.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Nothing but Smoke</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Yuri sees the aftereffects of Noa's previous life. He tries his best to help.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW: Blood and Violence. Very little is described, but those nameless mooks sure do die.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Yuri Leclerc is no stranger to horrifying things. However, he does find himself surprised on occasion. Every once in a while the world proves just how maligned it can be. There are always moments where people, as a group, stab oneself in the back and then twist the knife.</p><p>This is no exception.</p><p>Noa von Ordelia, otherwise an angel in every sense of the word, lunges forward at a bandit. The poor bastard had made the mistake of striking Noa from behind with a closed fist, and now Noa holds the man’s face in his hands and fires a Miasma spell strong enough to collapse the man’s skull. Blood splatters on Noa’s clothes and coats Noa’s hands. Burns from forcing the Miasma out pepper his hands.</p><p>Noa shakes. He trembles and falls to one knee before disappearing in a huff of red and white sparks. He doesn’t go far, though, materializing behind a sniper mid-knock of an arrow. He blasts a hole right through their chest. The sniper falls to the ground with a wet thud.</p><p>Yuri can just barely catch the look in Noa’s eyes as he warps again. Can he even describe it as a look? Noa von Ordelia is now all vacancy and fear, keeping his arms parallel as if some invisible shackles are binding him. All at once, Yuri remembers the scars he’d seen on Noa’s wrists. Is Noa somehow back where he was four years ago? Trauma lingers, after all, and Yuri has seen it in his own men.</p><p>There’s an awful crash and scream as a tree splinters a few feet away from Yuri. A brigand that he hadn’t noticed is crushed underneath the thick trunk. The man doesn’t have time to call for mercy before life snaps out of his eyes.</p><p>“Boss!” A member of his battalion hollers at him. “Behind you!”</p><p>But there’s no blade in his back, just a trembling presence. Well, shit.</p><p>“Easy, everyone,” Yuri calls out. “He hasn’t done friendly fire yet. Still, don’t provoke him. Keep your eyes on the real enemy.”</p><p>Yuri turns slowly, letting his arms rest limp at his sides. Noa trembles, wide-eyed, arms stiff and perfectly parallel in front of him. Noa’s fingers curl and uncurl, and Yuri thinks that if they were hollow they’d rattle. Noa’s eyes still have that far away quality, but something wavers in them the longer he stays. It’s a candle flame struggling to stay lit.</p><p>Can it really be something as simple as making sure the wind doesn’t snuff it out?</p><p>“Noa,” Yuri says. “Hey.”</p><p>The white haired boy shivers again, ducking his head.</p><p>“The area’s clear, Boss,” Another of Yuri’s battalion calls out. “Looks like… Looks like Noa took out the last ones.”</p><p>Tension is still riding high despite that. It’s only natural, Yuri thinks. Noa may have endeared himself to those from Abyss, himself included, but no one present has seen him act quite like this. Not even Yuri, who has spent an uncharacteristic amount of time above ground trying to figure out this odd boy.</p><p>“Noa,” he repeats. “They’re gone. We’re safe.”</p><p>Noa picks his head up. Light tries to spark back into his eyes. “Th… They-?”</p><p>“May I touch you?”</p><p>Noa shrinks a bit, a bitter smile spreading on his face. “I’m… Yuri, I’m a mess…”</p><p>“I know. I have eyes, Noa,” Yuri says. “Are you hurt?”</p><p>Noa squeezes his eyes shut in the way that one might when trying to hold back tears. “’M fine. Nothing bad.”</p><p>“Okay,” Yuri says. “Okay, that’s good.”</p><p>*</p><p>Noa scrubs his hands out in the river, rubbing them raw before he even thinks of working on his face. Yuri sighs, sheds the majority of his uniform, and enters the water himself. Left to his own devices Noa would come back without hands at all.</p><p>“Alright, alright, enough,” Yuri sighs, gently taking Noa’s wrists. “I’m not about to let you hurt yourself.”</p><p>Noa sputters, blinking. “Huh? What’re you-”</p><p>“Taking care of you, that’s what.” Yuri pulls Noa’s palms just a bit closer before focusing. Magic often takes the patience of a saint, after all.</p><p>The burns begin to recede and heal over, and the cuts that Noa incurred by scrubbing off the memory of killing begins to heal as well. The back of Noa’s palms were soft and cold, almost frigid.</p><p>“…Yuri.”</p><p>“Mm?”</p><p>“I’m… I’m sorry you had to see that. Before.” Noa looks away from him, hiding. “…You probably think I’m some kind of monster now.”</p><p>Yuri scoffs. “Oh, please. Remember who you’re talking to. I won’t judge you for protecting yourself.”</p><p>Noa flinches, but can’t quite bring himself to pull his hands out of Yuri’s grasp. “But-”</p><p>“And the rest of us,” Yuri continues. “Because of you I didn’t lose any of my men. You moved faster than any of us could have. I’m grateful, so stop acting like I should be disgusted. Maybe you are, but I’m not.”</p><p>Noa lets out a bitter laugh. “Are you sure? Your people seem scared of me now.”</p><p>Yuri raises an eyebrow, absently washing excess blood off Noa’s palm. “You think they’re not at least a little scared of me, too?”</p><p>Noa’s mouth flattens into a thin line. “That’s different.”</p><p>“How so?” Yuri asks. “They’ve seen me kill people.”</p><p>“They trust you.”</p><p>“Within reason, my dear.” Yuri turns his attention to Noa’s face, beginning to wipe off the splatter.</p><p>Noa coughs in surprise, looking upward at the sky, then down at the water. He looks everywhere but at Yuri, really, but it doesn’t do much to hide the faint blush on his cheeks.</p><p>“Just give them time. And don’t run away from me over something like this,” he says.</p><p>Noa sighs, finally meeting Yuri’s gaze. “I’ll… I’ll try not to. I promise.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. "Go on, sing my praises again."</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>On learning a new skill, Yuri taunts Noa. He gets a bit more than he expects.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Yuri holds his hands out and concentrates on the target, a poor, abused training dummy. His fingers twitch as the formulae alight in the air, and Noa keeps a close eye on the strike. In a flash a strong blade of wind hits the dummy, slicing it clean in half.</p><p>Noa cheers, clapping his hands together. “Ooh! You got it! That’s Cutting Gale alright! That practice paid off.”</p><p>Yuri allows himself a brief moment of surprise before giving a coy smile. “As expected, yeah?”</p><p>Noa nods, a huge grin on his face. “Yeah, definitely. Your aptitude for wind magic is growing fast. It’s almost unreal, and very impressive.”</p><p>Yuri tilts his head, half-hiding a wicked little grin behind the fingers he raises to his lips, but doesn’t say anything yet. Noa raises an eyebrow in confusion. Yuri’s gaze is direct and piercing, as though Yuri is appraising a piece of treasure. Noa can’t fight the rush of heat to his face.</p><p>“What?” Noa asks.</p><p>“Well, go on,” Yuri taunts. “No need to stop singing my praises.”</p><p>Oh, so that’s it. As Noa sees it, he can do one of two things. He can be the demure and shy boy his instincts tell him he is, the one with all the butterflies in his stomach on hearing Yuri’s tone. He can also attempt to tease in return. Will it work? That’s a toss-up. Can he venture to try?</p><p>Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?</p><p>Noa gives a soft chuckle. “Mm, I see. Where should I start…?”</p><p>The quirk of Yuri’s eyebrows changes. Confusion sits next to confidence and takes up far too much space. “Oh?”</p><p>“Well,” Noa says, walking a few paces closer to Yuri, “You’re quite kind and patient. You consistently put others above yourself, even if it’s to your detriment. Although the detriment isn’t necessarily praiseworthy, as you do worry me sometimes.”</p><p>Yuri blinks, then clears his throat. That coy smile still rests on his lips, though. “Noa?”</p><p>“Oh, and you’re easily one of the most skilled commanders Garreg Mach has. You move whatever battalion is assigned to you as if you all have one shared mind. It really is a wonder how quickly you take to each one.”</p><p>Yuri shrugs. He opens his mouth twice before he speaks, as though trying to retort. “Running the Underground’s given me a lot of experience.”</p><p>“That makes it no less impressive, though,” Noa says. “Your cooking is nothing less than divine. Each dish you make is even better than the last. And you always take care to find everyone’s allergies and work around them. And you always do so marvelously, and without anyone even noticing.”</p><p>It may be Noa’s imagination, but he thinks he sees the tips of Yuri’s ears turn just the slightest shade of pink. “Well, you noticed.”</p><p>“Because we’ve been on Kitchen Duty together a few times. Also, have I mentioned how wonderful you are about teaching me things about cooking?” Noa continues, inching just a little closer. “I’ve learned so much just from those few times.”</p><p>Yuri’s gaze is suddenly far less piercing. “Oh. Glad it’s been useful to you.”</p><p>Noa nods. “It has. And your patience as you explain things to me… I know I mentioned your patience before, but the time you take for me means everything. From little tips and tricks to helping me down from… well…” his smile falters just a fraction, “certain states of mind.”</p><p>Now Yuri’s own smile starts to drop. “Don’t worry about it, it’s nothing that big-”</p><p>“But it is,” Noa argues. “You’ve seen what I am and you didn’t even flinch, just treated me like normal. And that’s incredible. And I know that’s just how you are, too. I’ve seen you with the children at the market, and down in Abyss, and you’re always so good to them.”</p><p>Yuri looks away, hiding his face behind his hand and his hair. Pink dances across his nose. He clears his throat again, trying to look everywhere but at Noa.</p><p>So the tease can’t handle being teased, eh?</p><p>“And your face looks awfully cute when you do that, although you tend to look awfully cute just about any time.”</p><p>“Noa!” Yuri exclaims.</p><p>“What?” Noa asks. “You’re very handsome. I’m sure you get that a lot. You must, really, because you-”</p><p>“Alright!” Yuri says suddenly, grabbing a hold of Noa’s arms. His face is bright red. “Alright, alright, I give. You win, I surrender.”</p><p>Noa laughs. “What’s there to surrender about? I was just giving you your praises.”</p><p>“Right, right, sure,” Yuri says.</p><p>Noa purses his lips. “I’ll have you know I’ve been bottling all that up for some time now, and there’s more.”</p><p>Yuri coughs in surprise. “More?”</p><p>“Yes. Is it that hard to believe that I have that many good things to say about you?”</p><p>Then Yuri is hiding behind his hand again. “Maybe a little. There’s a lot about me that’s not so great.”</p><p>“Hmm. Then I’m just going to have to keep going until you believe me.”</p><p>“Stars and Sothis <em>above</em>,” Yuri hisses through his teeth, face burning. “You always have a good response for everything. What’s it going to take to shut you up about this?”</p><p>Noa takes a half-step back, holding his hands up. A white flag of sorts as his heart sinks. Yuri stares at him, dumbfounded.</p><p>“Did I go too far?” Noa asks. “I don’t want to upset you. That’s not my intention. If you want me to stop-”</p><p>Yuri’s expression softens, taking a quick stride to meet Noa where he stood. “Where the hell did your bravery go? You have me right where you want me, y’know. Unless I’m reading this situation completely wrong.”</p><p>Noa shakes his head, taking his turn to be dumbfounded. “No, you barely ever read a situation wrong. Ever. You have a sharp strategic mind in both battle and conversation.”</p><p>Yuri meets Noa’s gaze again, gleaming and just a little wanting. “Then let’s not lose the moment. So, what’s it gonna take to shut you up?”</p><p>Heat burns low within Noa. “How about you come over here and shut me up yourself?”</p><p>Yuri shivers, but grins. “That’s better.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Smudges</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>After Remire, Edelgard asks Noa to get out of the village. He goes looking for Yuri.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW: Mention of the death of a child</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Too many odd fractions of memories tug at Noa’s brain, in the aftermath of Remire. Something seems terribly familiar about Solon, but Noa can’t place it. He’d rarely ever spoken with Tomas, maybe only once or twice. The more he thinks about it the more he feels he inches towards collapse.</p><p>But the ashes of Remire Village are not the right place for one to fall apart.</p><p>He looks on and sees Claude taking the helm of the remainder of the rescue operation. Dimitri shuffles along with a frightening darkness on his face as he looks for enemy stragglers, blood matted in his hair. Claude regards this, directing the more frail and weary of their forces away from the prince.</p><p>Edelgard stumbles up next to Noa, catching herself off a run by grabbing a hold of his arm. “You’re safe. Good.”</p><p>“Hey, El,” Noa says.</p><p>Edelgard’s face wrings itself, but she may as well have been trying to wring out a towel underwater. Nothing shows, but she is bathed in sorrow. “This… It’s so awful.”</p><p>“It is,” Noa says quietly. “Are you injured?”</p><p>“I’m fine,” Edelgard says through her teeth. “We didn’t suffer heavy losses. But the villagers of Remire... Goddess, it’s-”</p><p>“El, could it be them?”</p><p>She looks up at Noa. “Don’t ask that.”</p><p>“Too late.”</p><p>She speaks low. “It’s definitely them, I just don’t understand why. They’re definitely watching, though, so I want you out of here.”</p><p>Noa shakes his head. “The whole rest of the group is here.”</p><p>Edelgard squeezes her eyes shut and pulls away, putting her hand to her mouth in thought. Her gears turn in circles until her eyes pop open again, concern lacing itself in violet. “Yuri.”</p><p>Noa looks over his shoulders, then raises an eyebrow. “What about him?”</p><p>“He’s technically unaccounted for. He was deployed on the other side of the village,” Edelgard says. “Look for him. Just get out of here and look for him.”</p><p>Noa knows this is Edelgard trying to push him away, and Goddess he wishes she’d stop. Ever since Monica rejoined the Black Eagle house he’s seen more of Hubert than Edelgard, and he hates it. Worry still sends his stomach flopping end over end at the thought that Yuri might be missing, though, and his heart speaks louder than his head at times like this.</p><p>“Alright. I’ll find him.” Noa says.</p><p>“When you do, just fall back to the Monastery. I’ll take care of things here.”</p><p>Noa gives her shoulder a squeeze before he leaves. “Be safe, El.”</p><p>“Same to you,” she replies.</p><p>*</p><p>The relief efforts spiral around the outskirts of the village, but none of the clusters of people contain the violet-haired man Noa is looking for. Could Yuri be back in Abyss already? No, Noa doubts it. Hapi and Balthus still linger. Even Constance doesn’t falter, regardless of the sun trying to poke out of the clouds.</p><p>She pulls Noa aside as he turns to look elsewhere. The sun peeks through the clouds and Noa lifts his hands to shade her face.</p><p>“I won’t combust in the sun, Noa,” she chastises.</p><p>“I know,” Noa says. “Have you seen Yuri?”</p><p>Constance winces. “About that. Search for water, Noa.”</p><p>“Well, that’s ominous.”</p><p>She pulls Noa’s hands away from her face, letting the sun hit her and her more somber persona take hold. “This entire calamity has taken a toll on us. He encountered something truly, unfathomably awful, Noa. When this happens, he tends to seek out water. I will not lie and say that I am not worried. Would you be so kind as to comfort him? I’m afraid I would simply make his mood even more dismal.”</p><p>Noa swallows hard. “I will. Do you know what direction he went?”</p><p>“He was headed northwest when I saw him last, but that was only while he was in my sight,” Constance says. “I’m terribly sorry I can’t be of more help…”</p><p>So Yuri is hiding. Damn.</p><p>“You’ve helped plenty, Constance. Thank you.”</p><p>*</p><p>It’s been years since Noa trudged through forests alone on foot, but his endurance for it hasn’t waned. He steps over gnarled roots, following them to an offshoot of the river that traced along the outside of Garreg Mach. The air is cool compared to the blaze of Remire, though traces of the smoke linger in the air.</p><p>Noa looks along the riverbanks. He finds Yuri contrasted against the green, kneeling and cursing as he wipes at his face. Noa breathes a sigh of relief. Safe but upset is always far better than the worse alternatives.</p><p>Yuri is far enough inside his own head that he doesn’t notice when Noa kneels down next to him.</p><p>“Hey,” Noa offers, as soft and gentle as he can manage.</p><p>Yuri still jumps. He looks at Noa with wide eyes, red and welling. Grey tear streaks paint his face. A third of his perfectly done face is smudged to hell and back, and a mascara-laden handkerchief rests in his hand. He bites his lip hard enough to bleed.</p><p>“Y’know, I came out here because I <em>really</em> didn’t want to be found,” Yuri says quietly.</p><p>“I see,” Noa replies.</p><p>Yuri pops his lips. “And you’re not going to leave, are you?”</p><p>“That’s right.”</p><p>He looks away from Noa, pressing the palm with the handkerchief against his face. “Damn rude of you, invading my privacy like this.”</p><p>“What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t?”</p><p>Yuri tilts his head back, as though it’ll keep more tears from falling. “A smart one.”</p><p>Noa huffs. “No, I’d be an awful one. Come here.”</p><p>“I look like shit, Noa.”</p><p>“Then let me help,” Noa says. “Let me take care of you this time.”</p><p>A tremor wracks down Yuri’s spine. He exhales, loud and shaky, but splashes some water on his face and turns to Noa all the same. He holds out the handkerchief.</p><p>“Take a good look. Might be the only time you see me like this.”</p><p>Noa takes the handkerchief in one hand, and gently pulls Yuri’s chin with the other. “I can only pray nothing ever upsets you like this again.”</p><p>Yuri makes a sound somewhere between a gasp and a sob, though his mouth curls up at the edges like his intent is laughter. “Tall order.”</p><p>“I’m sure. You put quite a lot on your shoulders,” Noa sighs.</p><p>Yuri leans into Noa’s palm as he works. “Can’t afford not to. Abyss needs me.”</p><p>“I know. What about you, though?” Noa asks. “What do you need? You don’t have to deal with this alone.”</p><p>“Of course I do. People will think I’m weak if they see me like this,” Yuri sighs. “People jump on weaknesses. Tear each other apart over them.”</p><p>Noa purses his lips. “One, I don’t think you’re weak. Two, if anyone ever tries to hurt you like that I will <em>end</em> them.”</p><p>Yuri manages a laugh, but it sticks to his throat. “So, you’d protect me from, well, anything? Everything?”</p><p>“Don’t doubt it for a second.”</p><p>Yuri swallows thick, smile fading. “Ah… Nice of you to say.”</p><p>“I mean it,” Noa says, taking Yuri’s face in his hands. “I don’t know what hurt you this time, but I’ll do my damnedest to make sure it doesn’t happen again.”</p><p>Yuri’s scrambled attempts to put up his façade come crashing down. A sob whistles through his clenched teeth, and Noa pulls Yuri against him. Yuri grabs fistfuls of Noa’s shirt, hiding his face in Noa’s shoulder.</p><p>“You <em>can’t</em>,” Yuri chokes out.</p><p>“What happened?”</p><p>“What happens whenever there’s war like that, this- this kid got caught up in it. One of those raging assholes got to her. I thought she was dead when I found her, but she cried out for help. I couldn’t just leave her.”</p><p>“Oh, Yuri…”</p><p>“I tried to save her, even thought that maybe I could get her out before the fighting was over, like the others, but she…” Yuri exhales, sharp and shivering. “I’ve seen this shit before. Other kids have died in my arms when I was trying to save them. It never gets any goddamned easier. And it’s nothing <em>anyone</em> can protect me from.”</p><p>Noa holds Yuri tighter. “I’m so sorry.”</p><p>“We have to find these bastards,” Yuri says. “Take them out before they pull any more shit like this and ruin more people’s lives.”</p><p>“We will.” Noa runs a hand through Yuri’s hair. “I promise you that.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. How to Light a Match</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Noa goes to the Goddess Tower, having not danced with the person he most wanted to be with. Yuri ventures up from Abyss. Lysithea is smart and decides not to third wheel.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Noa stumbles up to the Goddess Tower on tired legs. He plops down on the balcony, back pressed against the railing. Lysithea laughs at her exhausted little pile of a brother.</p><p>“Finally, some peace…” Noa whines.</p><p>“What did you expect after winning the White Heron Cup?”</p><p>“Not this, that’s for sure,” Noa sighs. “Even Claude wanted to dance with me.”</p><p>Lysithea rolls her eyes. “Well, he did promise to dance with the winner of the competition. Loudly. In front of everyone.”</p><p>“Seems half the school made that promise.” Noa rubs at his legs. “Dorothea, Annette, Hilda, even Sylvain… Gotta admit, I’m jealous, Liss. You weren’t being dragged onto the dance floor every five minutes.”</p><p>Lysithea twirls her hair around her finger. “Well… I did get a few people asking to dance with me. B-but you’re right. I don’t envy you in the least.”</p><p>Noa’s eyes widen. “But you refused to- Liss, did you actually accept? Who was it?”</p><p>Lysithea squeaks. “It’s none of your business! Who are you, Seteth?”</p><p>Noa feigns offense, dramatically putting a hand to his chest. “<em>Liss</em>. Come on, I wouldn’t go to those extremes. I’m just curious.”</p><p>Lysithea shakes her head, face turning a delightful shade of pink. “Nope, not happening.”</p><p>“Liss.”</p><p>“It- it’s not like you’ve gotten to dance with who you really wanted to, either!”</p><p>Lysithea flinches as soon as the words leave her mouth. Under normal circumstances Noa would joke around, comfort his sister about her disappointment, but this time Noa slumps against the railing as he thinks of a certain violent-haired man. A certain violet-haired man he’d really, really been hoping to see tonight. He sighs deep, and Lysithea frowns.</p><p>“Sorry…”</p><p>“It’s fine, Liss. It’s not like I was going to <em>make</em> Yuri come. I know he hates things like this.”</p><p>Lysithea sits down next to him. “Oh, Noa…”</p><p>Noa’s smile is thin. He tries to hide his pout behind his hand. “Do I look that dejected?”</p><p>“Er… well… yes.” Lysithea laces and unlaces her fingers.</p><p>“You know what? Maybe I should just go visit him in Abyss,” Noa says. “If he doesn’t want to come up, I should go down. I’d rather be with him than sitting around all sullen up here.”</p><p>She purses her lips. “But he came to see you perform at the White Heron Cup. It’s a <em>preface</em> to the ball. Maybe…”</p><p>“Maybe what?”</p><p>“M-maybe he’s just running late or something! Abyss politics do seem to be quite complicated,” Lysithea says. “He cares for you a lot, so it <em>can’t</em> be that he’s disinterested.”</p><p>Noa can’t help but giggle. “It’s okay, Liss. I know he just doesn’t like noble shenanigans. I don’t blame him; I don’t think I like it any better.”</p><p>“But I know you want to dance with him, so I <em>hope</em> he shows up eventually.” Lysithea huffs and crosses her arms in an exaggerated fashion. “At the very least, he’d better have a good excuse for standing you up.”</p><p>Noa stifles his laughter behind his hand. “I’m sure he has one, Liss.”</p><p>“He’d better!” She says. “Or he’s going to get a very stern talking to from me. And probably Edelgard. Not to mention Hubert. Oh! Now that’s an idea. Maybe Hubert’s interrogating him.”</p><p>Noa rolls his eyes. “Then <em>I</em> am going to have a very stern talk with Hubert for meddling with my love life.”</p><p>“I would imagine so.” She nods along, a tiny smile starting to come back to her face. “After all, our connection to Edelgard shouldn’t interfere with such things. I understand the need for caution, but- Oh! Oh my, um.”</p><p>Suddenly Lysithea is standing, brushing off her skirt and kicking dust off her shoes. Noa raises an eyebrow at his sister’s sudden shift in behavior.</p><p>“Liss?”</p><p>Her eyes are wide, and her lips are puckered as though she’d just swallowed a lemon. “I-I just remembered I owe Marianne a dance! Yes, that’s right! I promised her earlier tonight.”</p><p>“I thought she wasn’t going to the Ball either,” Noa says.</p><p>“She- she changed her mind two days ago! And is waiting on me. I’ve been terribly rude. I’ve got to go, I’m sorry!”</p><p>Before Noa can even begin to voice any questions, Lysithea has run off towards the Tower’s exit. Noa stands up carefully, squinting in his sister’s direction. What in the world could that be about? He peers over the balcony in time to see Lysithea looking up at him. She squeaks on seeing him meet her gaze, and turns to run off again. Damn, she’s moving <em>fast</em>.</p><p>“…The hell, Liss?” Noa sighs.</p><p>A low chuckle comes from behind Noa as a pair of strong arms wrap around his waist. “Well, I imagine she didn’t want to be a third wheel.”</p><p>A gasp pushes past Noa’s lips before he can even think. He turns around as much as he can in Yuri’s arms to face the leader of Abyss. Yuri’s eyes glitter at Noa’s excitement, mouth quirking up into a little smirk with a quip on the tip of his tongue.</p><p>Noa doesn’t let him get quite that far, though. No, he’s been waiting for just a bit too long. Noa takes Yuri’s face in his hands and kisses him, and now it’s Yuri’s turn to be the one gasping. Yuri returns the affection in kind, holding Noa tight enough to burst.</p><p>Now this is more like it. Noa keeps kissing Yuri until he’s dizzy, pulling back only when he has to. When they finally break apart, Noa has stars in his eyes.</p><p>Yuri takes a moment to catch his breath, eyes dark. “Wow. That’s a hell of a welcome.”</p><p>Noa smiles, soft as the petals of a carnation. “I’m just so glad to see you tonight.”</p><p>“I- yeah, I can tell,” Yuri says. “Damn, if I’d known coming up here would make you this happy I would have come up hours ago.”</p><p>Noa shakes his head. “No, no, it’s alright. I know you don’t like-”</p><p>“Wasn’t even that. Lysithea wasn’t wrong, there were a few things that needed sorting out in Abyss.” Yuri bumps his nose against Noa’s. “But. They could have easily waited until tomorrow afternoon. You should’ve said you wanted a date. I would’ve made time for you.”</p><p>“How long were you standing there?” Noa asks.</p><p>“Mm, not for <em>too</em> long. I just didn’t feel like interrupting,” Yuri muses, pulling Noa flush against him. “If you want, we can go back. I can give you the dance you’ve been wanting.”</p><p>The dance he’d been wanting. Now that was something to think about. Now that Yuri’s here, Noa’s thoughts aren’t at all on going back to the party. Noa blushes hard, steals another kiss and wonders how exactly he’s going to address the heat he’s starting to feel now. Just how much time can he buy?</p><p>“Noa?”</p><p>Not enough, apparently. Noa <em>burns.</em> “Well. We don’t have to go back to the Ball. There are. Uh. Other things we could do. If you wanted.”</p><p>There’s a spark in Yuri’s eyes, bright and gleaming in that tricky way of his. “Rather be doing me instead of dancing with me, huh?”</p><p>Noa tries not to squeak, tries not to be so quick about how he hides in Yuri’s shoulder. He really shouldn’t be <em>embarrassed</em> by it. He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about making love. About making love <em>to Yuri</em>. He’s been daydreaming about it for longer than he’d care to admit.</p><p>“More than you know,” Noa admits into the crook of Yuri’s neck.</p><p>Yuri shivers in Noa’s grip, and Noa swears he feels a Thoron rattle up his spine. Yuri pulls back just enough to look Noa in the eyes, caress Noa’s face with his hand. There’s something new in Yuri’s expression now, something surprisingly cautious. Vulnerable. Something that Noa thinks might just stay between them in the Goddess Tower.</p><p>“Just how far do you want to go?” Yuri asks.</p><p>“As far as my room and the lock on its door,” Noa says. He thinks his face might literally catch fire soon if he’s not careful. “B-but, if you’re not interested-”</p><p>Yuri puts a finger to Noa’s lips, delicate and gentle. “Don’t put words in my mouth. Tell me what <em>you</em> want.”</p><p>Noa takes a deep breath and waits. Collects his thoughts. Tries to find a way to say it without completely messing it up. Is there a way? Every possible response that rattles through Noa’s brain says no, there really isn’t, and he should just say something.</p><p>Come what may, right?</p><p>Noa summons as much courage as he can. “I. I’d very much like to make love to you.”</p><p>Yuri tries to get his usual mask back up, but it crumples halfway, leaving something honest and wanting and maybe just a little crooked on display. “You’re sure?”</p><p>Noa has to fight a laugh building in his throat. He hadn’t considered surprise on Yuri’s part. “I’ve been wanting this for months now. If you asked, I would say yes. But you didn’t, so I’m asking <em>you</em> now. If you want to. If you don’t, though, that’s fine. It won’t change anything between us. I’ll wait. Or go without, even.”</p><p>Yuri strokes Noa’s cheek with the pad of his thumb, a soft, soft motion. Noa leans into the touch, angling his head to kiss Yuri’s palm. Pink floods Yuri’s face, from the tips of his ears down to his neck. It’s a beautiful, rare sight that Noa’s only ever seen when they’re alone. When they’re far away from the machinations of others.</p><p>“You… You are so fucking adorable,” Yuri says, pulling Noa closer. “Never change.”</p><p>Noa grins against Yuri’s hand. “You’re sweet. But that’s not quite an answer.”</p><p>“Yes,” Yuri says, light finally overtaking the worry. “My answer’s yes. I want you all to myself tonight.”</p>
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<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Sunset (NSFW)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>After meeting at the Goddess Tower, Yuri and Noa decide that there's something better to do than dancing.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW: Sex, first times</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Noa’s hands are cool against Yuri’s chest, gentle and wandering and curious. They are feather-light and push Yuri’s shirt further open, fingertips dragging along his collarbones and tracing down further. Noa is tender and cautious, curious. With the way Noa’s hands are trembling, Yuri figures it would take just one unexpected touch to make Noa jump with surprise.</p><p>The door’s locked, and no doubt other couples are doing the exact same thing. It isn’t like anyone is going to notice. Yet Noa is still apprehensive. He moves slow, painfully slow. There’s an attractive aspect to it, sure. Noa’s face has turned three different shades of pink, one of which still paints his ears a delightful shade reminiscent of some of the lilies in the greenhouse.</p><p>Pleasant little shocks trace down Yuri’s spine as he beats Noa to the punch and shrugs off his shirt. Noa breathes out like it’s the first time he’s been allowed to exhale in the whole of his life.</p><p>“Haven’t even gotten to the fun yet,” Yuri muses, unbuttoning Noa’s shirt, “and you already look wrecked.”</p><p>“S-sorry…”</p><p>Now that doesn’t quite sound right.</p><p>“Noa.” Yuri stops his ministrations immediately, tilting Noa’s head up to meet his gaze. “You alright there?”</p><p>Noa’s voice is quiet, high and soft as he speaks. “Yeah… I just... I’ve never done this before. It’s a lot to take in.”</p><p>“Do you want to stop?”</p><p>Noa shakes his head, an awkward laugh falling past his lips. “No. I-I’d just ask that you be patient? With me?”</p><p>Yuri gives a gleeful little cackle right in Noa’s ear. “It’s alright, sweetheart. I know my way around. I’ll take good care of you.”</p><p>Yuri gives Noa a taste of his own medicine, teasing his fingertips along Noa’s arms as he pushes the shirt off his shoulders and onto the floor. Yuri tries not to stumble over the scars. Noa’s nervous enough, no need to make his mind completely falter. This has been a nice moment so far, and Yuri would like to keep it that way.</p><p>Noa summons his bravery and leans into the crook of Yuri’s neck. He kisses the skin lightly at first, but then goes deeper, grazes his teeth over Yuri’s pulse. Electricity sings down Yuri’s spine as though someone’s cast Thunder down into his bones.</p><p> “‘Never done this before’ my ass,” Yuri says, tugging Noa’s hair out of its usual ponytail.</p><p>Noa gives a weak, giddy little laugh. “I <em>haven’t</em>. Read books, yeah. Fantasized, sure, but…”</p><p>“Do tell.”</p><p>Noa looks at Yuri with such warmth, such a shimmer in his ruby eyes that Yuri has to fight the urge to get swept away. He was the one who’s supposed to do the sweeping, right?</p><p>“I mean, none of that stuff compares to what I’m seeing right now.”</p><p>Yuri tries not to let his heart skip a beat. It’s such a simple thing, something downright stupid and obvious and it shouldn’t pull at his heart, and yet it has Yuri pulling Noa forward by his belt loops. Noa huffs out a small gasp, and winds his hands in Yuri’s hair.</p><p>“Tell me anyway,” Yuri says. “What would you like?”</p><p>Noa chews on his lip. “Dunno yet. I just… Agh, I don’t know if there’s a good way to say it.”</p><p>“My, have you been hiding some dastardly kinks from me?” Yuri laughs. “I’m not glass, Noa. I can handle whatever you throw at me.”</p><p>“Does ‘wanting to see your face’ count as a thing?” Noa asks.</p><p>Goddess, Noa seems so innocent despite what he’s doing. Noa’s hand traces down lower and lower, fingertips coming to the hem of Yuri’s pants. Yuri wonders if Noa will work up the bravery to try to sneak his hand down under the cloth.</p><p>“Hmm, well, I suppose it does,” Yuri purrs. “What face would you have me make for you, darling?”</p><p>Noa tilts his head, some of the redness in his face fading away. Suddenly his eyes are ruby-tipped lances, aiming for Yuri’s soft, exposed underbelly. It’s not the erotic look of someone who might slam him against a wall, or throw him on a bed and collect their fill. This is Noa refusing to leave him alone after Remire.</p><p>“Really,” Yuri asks, “what do you want to see?”</p><p>“You,” Noa replies. “Hopefully pleased, if I do it right. Maybe sated if I can keep up with you.”</p><p>Yuri blinks, stunned. Sated. Satisfied. <em>Happy</em>. Is that really it? Honestly? If Noa really means what he says, Yuri has the power to break his heart in two seconds flat and get away with it. Put on a nice show, secure some piece of finery as payment and sell it. If Noa was a mark, it’d be a relief.</p><p>But Noa is Noa, and Yuri doesn’t want to be paid for this. The thought of extorting Noa damn near makes him sick, so all Yuri can manage is a little “oh” in response. Noa wants <em>him</em> to be happy. Him of all people.</p><p>Noa fights a war with doubt behind his eyes. “Only problem is that I don’t really know how to, well, do that.”</p><p>“You don’t need to worry about a thing. You’ll learn,” Yuri says, making short work of Noa’s pants. “Trust me. I’ll guide you.”</p><p>Noa shivers at first on being exposed, and Yuri tries not to notice how the scars on Noa’s wrists have a match on his ankles. He takes a more direct approach, before Noa’s self-doubt or his own kills the mood. Yuri pulls Noa flush against him and takes a hold of Noa’s dick. Yuri traces a line with his thumb and Noa gasps right in his ear. In return, one of Noa’s hands makes its way to his hair and pulls. The combination pries a groan out of Yuri before he can so much as think.</p><p>Noa’s fingers tremble as they loosen on his hair. “Sorry-”</p><p>Ever cautious. Yuri doesn’t know whether or not to laugh or to feel safe. Goddess, he really does feel safe here, doesn’t he?</p><p>“That felt good,” Yuri encourages. “Keep going. I’ll tell you if it’s too much, so trust me a little, okay?”</p><p>Noa nods, breath warm against Yuri’s skin. He nests his face in Yuri’s neck again, taking a cue from earlier. He nips and sucks as he pushes Yuri towards his bed, sending shocks down Yuri’s spine. Yuri twists his wrist as he strokes Noa and he can feel Noa yelp right into his skin. He loses his balance for a moment, just a moment, but it’s enough to knock the tangled mess of Yuri and Noa into Noa’s mattress.</p><p>Noa hovers above him, wedged between Yuri’s legs. Yuri’s rather clothed legs.</p><p>Well, those have got to go.</p><p>Noa grinds on instinct, though, sloppily rolling in a way that wrings a whine out of Yuri. Not great, but effective. Heat builds in his abdomen, and Yuri thinks that maybe it wouldn’t be the worst thing to have ruined a set of pants. He’s ruined far better pairs over far worse.</p><p>Noa hovers above him, one arm propping him up so he can meet Yuri’s gaze. Noa’s eyes are far from clear. No, they’re almost completely overshadowed by his arousal. Even with pupils blown so wide and wanting they’re completely focused on him.</p><p>Yuri shifts. Noa isn’t graceful on his feet, but he’s quick to adjust around Yuri. Yuri pushes Noa up, and he gives. Noa’s balance is just a bit off, but Yuri finds himself very far from blaming Noa. Especially when Noa has backed up enough to let Yuri move whichever way he wants.</p><p>There’s even enough room for him to leave entirely, if he wanted.</p><p>“Yuri?” Noa asks. He’s breathy, but his voice sticks to the lower parts of his throat. Concern. Worry? Noa doesn’t come back, just waits where he stands. “You alright?”</p><p>Yuri shucks off his pants without fanfare, lying bare and open for Noa to see. He reaches out his hand to beckon Noa. He opens his mouth to say something witty, darkly sexy even, but his mind draws a blank. All he thinks about is how Noa’s eyes are coming out of that heat haze. How Noa waits patiently for a signal, any signal, even though his pants are long gone.</p><p>“Come back,” Yuri says.</p><p>It’s too simple, too <em>needy</em>, but Noa descends on him all the same once Yuri’s allowed it. Noa pulls him into a better, easier position, even rests Yuri’s head on his pillow before stealing more deep kisses. Noa doesn’t use his teeth this time. Noa von Ordelia is all soft edges and gentleness where he can spare, even as he ruts against Yuri. Maybe Noa is the softest thing he’s ever touched, Yuri thinks. Every single part of Noa feels divine, and Yuri never wants to let go.</p><p>It’s not elegant. It’s sloppy as all hell because Noa doesn’t know what he’s doing, and Yuri doesn’t really care about finesse right now. All he knows is that this feels <em>good</em> and that he doesn’t want it to end just yet. Maybe it’s a bit aimless and exploratory, but it’s still nice. Still has Yuri gasping into Noa’s mouth when he finds release.</p><p>Noa breaks from their latest string of kisses, and Yuri barely has the sense to keep from whining at him to come back <em>again</em>. But Noa presses his forehead to Yuri’s, brushing his bangs out of the way. Yuri has a perfect view as a fond smile cuts through the tension. Noa is flushed, his lips are chapped, and his eyes gleam.</p><p>Noa’s eyes aren’t gemstones, not really. Seeing Noa like this, he thinks Noa’s eyes remind him more of a sunset just before the stars come out. Something priceless and irreplaceable. Something Yuri could look at forever.</p><p>“Yuri…” Noa whispers. “Goddess, you’re beautiful.”</p><p>It isn’t anything Yuri hasn’t heard a million times before, but Noa strikes the right nerve. Rather, he takes a sledgehammer to a poorly-built wall. Yuri pulls Noa down onto him, wraps his arms around Noa’s neck, and breathes out as if <em>he’s</em> the one who’s been holding his breath the whole time.</p><p>“This is when you say I’m cute?” Yuri asks.</p><p>Noa snorts, nuzzling into Yuri’s neck. “Beautiful. And yeah, cause you are. I like seeing that I made you happy.”</p><p>Yuri’s mouth quirks up into an odd smile. “Well… yeah, I’d say you managed that.”</p>
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<a name="section0015"><h2>15. How to Tie a Knot</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>After exhausting themselves, Yuri wonders if he should leave. Noa begs to differ.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Noa is only half aware when he reaches out and puts his hand on Yuri’s hip. Yuri turns to look back at Noa, something sad in his eyes. Noa starts to pull himself out of his tired haze, but can only offer a mumble with the inflection of a question.</p><p>“I should probably go,” Yuri sighs.</p><p>Noa’s chest tightens. He stretches his arm around Yuri’s hips on instinct. He doesn’t know why Yuri <em>should</em> leave, just knows that he doesn’t want Yuri to.</p><p>“Please stay,” he asks.</p><p>Yuri leans back a little, but tries to keep his spot on the edge of the bed. He entangles his fingers with Noa’s and starts to move his hand away, but stops in place. Yuri’s palm is warm, and Noa hopes Yuri’s feeling something just as pleasant. Maybe it’ll lure him to stay.</p><p>“If Seteth catches me with you here,” Yuri says, “you’ll be in so much trouble.”</p><p>“Yuri, it’s the night of the ball. There’s other students he’s more worried about,” Noa argues.</p><p>“Like?”</p><p>“Sylvain and his partners, for one. They’re definitely doing everything we just did, and probably more, and probably <em>louder</em>. Claude definitely orchestrated something hilarious that we’re missing right now, but it’s also giving Seteth a heart attack. I guarantee you that Seteth has his hands full.”</p><p>Yuri snorts. “That’s true enough. Wonder what Claude schemed up this time?”</p><p>“Oh, definitely something to impress Lore. And generally cause amusing chaos. That’s what he does.” Noa pauses, loosening his grip on Yuri’s fingers. “Do you really have to leave?”</p><p>“You look exhausted, sweetheart.” Yuri angles himself to better look at Noa. “I doubt you’re up for round, ah, what was it?”</p><p>Heat rushes up to Noa’s cheeks as he recalls. He’s pleasantly sore in places he didn’t know he could be. “Round five.”</p><p>“Yeah, you look about ready to pass out.” Yuri reaches out to push some hair out of Noa’s face, fond and soft. “You really couldn’t get enough of me, huh?”</p><p>Noa shakes his head. “Been waiting to do that for a long time.”</p><p>An odd look crosses Yuri’s face. “Well, I’m not pushing you further than you already got pushed. It’s no good if either of us get hurt.”</p><p>Noa frowns. “That’s… that’s not why I was asking.”</p><p>Yuri pulls his hand back and Noa’s heart sinks. Yuri’s eyebrows tent up in worry at the white haired boy. Ah, the disappointment must be showing. Noa stretches, trying to hide it, but Yuri is never easily convinced. He leans down just a little, but not enough for Noa to pull him down by his shoulders.</p><p>“Um. Why were you asking, then?” Yuri asks.</p><p>Noa sighs through his nose. “It’s nothing. If you don’t wanna stay, you don’t have to.”</p><p>“Hey, don’t do that. What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Yuri sits closer to Noa now, just within reach. “Did I hurt you? You shouldn’t keep stuff like that from me, y’know.”</p><p>Noa lifts his hand and strokes Yuri’s face. His makeup is smudged, but not the way it was at Remire. There are no tear streaks, just a lot of smeared lip gloss. Noa thinks it’s just shy of the prettiest sight he’s ever seen, but the concern on Yuri’s face worries him too much.</p><p>“I’m fine,” Noa says softly. “I just… I thought it’d be nice to hold you for a while.”</p><p>“That’s-?” Yuri cuts himself off before he can say more. His eyes are wide for a heartbeat or two before he changes directions and slides under the covers with Noa. “Okay. Alright, yeah.”</p><p>Noa raises an eyebrow, placing his hand between the two of them. “You… you sure?”</p><p>“Mmhm,” Yuri hums.</p><p>Yuri’s fingers tremble ever so slightly as he takes Noa’s hand. Noa opens his arms, holding back from trapping Yuri right there in bed with him. Yuri is a wild songbird, really. Beautiful and sweet, but wary. Anything that so much as looks like a cage might scare him. All Noa can hope is that if he stays still and calm for long enough that Yuri will decide to linger.</p><p>There is something sad, but sweet as sugar in Yuri’s face as he settles in Noa’s arms. Noa is slow as he pulls Yuri just a bit closer and plants a kiss on Yuri’s forehead. Yuri breathes out a laugh and nuzzles into the base of Noa’s neck. Out of the corner of his eye, Noa notices the tips of Yuri’s ears turn pink.</p><p>“Yuri?”</p><p>“Mm?”</p><p>“You alright there? If I didn’t know better I’d say you’re getting shy,” Noa says.</p><p>Yuri presses his face further into Noa’s chest, giving a mix of a grumble and a laugh. “Are you sure you’ve got the right word there, Noa? ‘Shy’ doesn’t apply to somebody who’s just put their mouth all over you.”</p><p>Deflection. Noa can’t blame him, he’d literally done the same thing a few minutes ago. Now it was a thing, though. A slightly worrying thing.</p><p>“That’s bullshit and you know it,” Noa says.</p><p>Yuri freezes, but he doesn’t disentangle from Noa. He holds Noa that much tighter, actually, and Noa can feel Yuri tracing the outlines of old scars that had grown with him.</p><p>“…Alright, fine.” Yuri says. “Not really used to people sticking around for this part. Or being able to stick around.”</p><p>“Well, I’m not going anywhere,” Noa says. “Never will, from now on. The only variable is if you <em>wanna</em> stay.”</p><p>“Sounds an awful lot like you’re saying you’d wait for me forever,” Yuri says. “You sure that’s smart?”</p><p>“Don’t care if it’s smart or not. I would, Yuri.”</p><p>Suddenly Yuri is all tension, head turned so Noa can’t even see the tips of his ears that had betrayed him. His breath trembles. “Noa, I-”</p><p>Noa feels a rush of joy, but also trepidation. Yuri feels something, and something is so much better than nothing, but what kind of something is this exactly? Has his heart gotten the better of him, like a loud sound scattering a flock of birds?</p><p>“Hey.” Noa strokes Yuri’s hair. “It’s alright. You don’t have to say anything.”</p><p>“You’re something else,” Yuri says.</p><p>“That’s a high compliment, coming from you.”</p><p>“You bet your ass it is.” Yuri tightens his grip on Noa, holding on like Noa would slip through his fingers if he didn’t. “You are one of the most naïve people I’ve ever met, but that doesn’t even matter. You have such a stupidly beautiful heart. If anyone ever tried to hurt you, I’d-”</p><p>“Hey. I just told you I’m not going anywhere. I didn’t <em>only</em> mean that in the ‘getting out of bed and wandering off’ way.”</p><p>“I know.” Yuri finally dislodges from Noa’s shoulder, just enough to look him in the eyes.</p><p>“I think if we can just stay together like this, we can get through anything,” Noa says. “Side by side the world isn’t so terrifying, yeah?”</p><p>Yuri answers Noa with a kiss.</p>
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<a name="section0016"><h2>16. To Dig Yourself Out of the Ashes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Noa looks to the past to try and find clues about Remire, and about Jeralt's death. He goes to Yuri for help.</p><p>TW: Violence, death, restraints, suicide mention</p><p>Lore and Lyric Eisner belong to @JusticeDoesDraw on Twitter</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Do you think that there’s any kind of white magic that could restore memories?”</p><p>Manuela squints at Noa. “In theory, I suppose there could be. Why the sudden interest?”</p><p>Noa shrugs. “White magic can restore a lot of things. I just wonder if it’s possible. A lot’s happened recently and it makes sense that some people’s memories might get muddled.”</p><p>“It’d depend on, well, many factors,” Manuela says. “The brain is a physical part of the body, after all, always changing. Under normal circumstances we lose and regain memories all the time, albeit sometimes they’re altered.”</p><p>“I see,” Noa sighs. “Maybe it’s just a little too much to hope for.”</p><p>Manuela’s mouth flattens into a straight line. “Oh, don’t you go saying that. The body is tricky, but not that tricky. If physical sensations can stir up memories, then magic can do something similar. Maybe even better...”</p><p>She shifts her coat high on her shoulders and makes for her little alcove of a desk in the infirmary. Noa follows her, watching as Manuela scribbles something down in pencil.</p><p>“Like Restore, but more specific,” Manuela murmurs. “Silence itself is a block, but…”</p><p>Noa makes note of the numbers and pattern arrangement in Manuela’s sketch. “So, you think it’s possible?”</p><p>“We won’t know until we try,” Manuela says. She stops briefly and looks up at him. “Well, likely not you specifically, Noa. No offense, of course.”</p><p>Noa shakes his head, offering a smile. “None taken. I know I’m not great with white magic.”</p><p>Manuela winces. “Ah, it’s not even that. I’m not sure I’d want any of the students trying this. Maybe Lyric, <em>maybe</em>, but he’s in no shape for that…”</p><p>“Oh,” Noa says. “Do you think there’d be a lot of risks?”</p><p>Manuela gives a shrug. “Honestly? I don’t know. I can’t recall anyone ever trying something like this before, at least to my knowledge. Dark magic is what usually fiddles with the mind.”</p><p>“Interesting…”</p><p>Manuela raises an eyebrow. “Well, I know your aptitude for that is quite high. I might ask you to come back sometime to help work on this problem. It would be a hell of an asset to have.”</p><p>“Sure, I’d love to help.”</p><p>*</p><p>“There’s something I need your help with,” Noa says.</p><p>Yuri frowns. “Oh?”</p><p>Noa sits on Yuri’s bed and unfolds a scrap of paper. A spell circle is laid out on it, complicated and layered. Yuri sits next to him and gets a closer look.</p><p>“Those sigils…” Yuri muses. “White magic?”</p><p>“Memory restoration magic.”</p><p>Yuri’s mouth hangs open. “What?”</p><p>“Memory restoration magic,” Noa repeats. He gestures to one of the paths in the circle. “Based on Restore and a bit on Silence, but with a few mechanics of dark magic to keep things connected.”</p><p>“You don’t do white magic.”</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>“So how the hell do you have formulae like this?”</p><p>Noa purses his lips. “I didn’t tell Professor Manuela why, but I did wonder enough about restoring memories to get her thinking. This is a day and a half of joint work.”</p><p>Yuri squints, eyes crinkling in worry. “Does she know you’re showing me?”</p><p>Noa shakes his head. “No.”</p><p>Yuri grimaces, rubbing his forehead. “I don’t like where this is going.”</p><p>Noa sighs, holding out the piece of paper. “If you can figure out that much, you can probably figure out my reasons.”</p><p>“You’ve said those experiences broke you, Noa. I don’t get it,” Yuri says. “You want to remember absolutely horrifying abuse. Why?”</p><p>“Because there’s something familiar about Solon and that man who protected Monica from Lore. Something way too familiar. There’s answers buried in me.”</p><p>“…And?”</p><p>“Every minute they live and get away with this shit, my sisters and I are in danger,” Noa says. “Especially El. She’s been trying to keep me and Liss out of this, but we’re involved. There’s got to be <em>something</em>.”</p><p>Yuri takes the piece of paper, regarding it carefully. “But what if there isn’t?”</p><p>“Then I’ll have uncovered more about my past,” Noa says.</p><p>“I can’t talk you out of this, can I?”</p><p>“Two months ago you could. But not today.”</p><p>Yuri sighs. “Just… Give me ten, there’s some adjustments to this I gotta make.”</p><p>Noa scratches at the back of his head. “You already know what I’m going to ask, huh?”</p><p>Yuri doesn’t speak. He reaches for Noa’s hand and squeezes.</p><p>*</p><p>Yuri and Noa sit opposite each other on the floor. Yuri double checks the modifications he’s made, then looks back at Noa.</p><p>“Why didn’t you ask Manuela to help with this?” Yuri asks.</p><p>Noa shrugs. “I did.”</p><p>Yuri narrows his gaze. “You know what I mean.”</p><p>Noa slouches, glancing down at his hands. “…I know this is going to screw me up. I know it is. I know how I get when bad memories surface. You always drag me out of it. Professor Manuela wouldn’t be able to, and I don’t think I could explain it to her.”</p><p>“Mm.”</p><p>“And,” Noa adds. “I know I’m safe with you.”</p><p>Yuri tilts Noa’s head back up and pulls Noa into a soft kiss. The tension seeps right out of Noa’s shoulders as he sinks into this warmth. Then Yuri is pulling back, fondness and worry in his eyes.</p><p>“We start slow,” Yuri says.</p><p>“Okay. Works for me.”</p><p>*</p><p>It’s dark and cold, and Adrian can barely make out the bodies of his siblings bound against the walls just like he is. He hears screaming and crying. He thinks for a moment that the awful people are after Percival or Fiora again, but then he sees a girl being forced down the stairs.</p><p>“It was only a matter of time,” a man says. “One more test subject surely can’t hurt.”</p><p>The girl kicks and cries. “When Father finds out-!”</p><p>That voice-! No, no please-!</p><p>“Do be quiet, Edelgard. You’d be surprised what your father knows and doesn’t know.” The man says.</p><p>She’s shoved to the ground next to him, arms and legs bound into shackles. She trembles and sniffles, teeth grit against a scream she so desperately wants to let loose. She tosses her head and fights the shackles as much as her little body can, and then she sees him.</p><p>Her violet are shocked and wide. “Adrian?!”</p><p>Adrian shudders. He thought all his tears were gone, but there they are again.</p><p>*</p><p>Noa trembles, head leaned forward on Yuri’s shoulder. Yuri has pulled Noa forward into his arms, hands supportive and warm on his back.</p><p>“Did you get what you needed?” Yuri asks quietly.</p><p>Noa shakes his head. “N-not yet. Not yet. I got a start but not enough.”</p><p>Air hisses out from between Yuri’s teeth. “Oh, Noa.”</p><p>“Please,” Noa begs. “I need to go back in. I need to figure this out.”</p><p>Yuri squeezes Noa in his arms. “Alright. Alright, fine. Fine.”</p><p>*</p><p>“Where were you?” Adrian asks softly one night. “You didn’t- you didn’t get taken til now.”</p><p>“Uncle took me to Fhirdiad,” Edelgard says. “Then- then he brought me back. Here. Adrian, I’m scared. He changed so fast.”</p><p>Adrian reaches out his hands as much as he can. No matter how hard he tries he can’t get his whole hand over to where Edelgard’s are. She’s smart, though, and comes up with a compromise of her own. She stretches out her pinky and wraps it around Adrian’s own.</p><p>“Is what he said about father knowing true?” Edelgard asks.</p><p>Adrian fights the tears welling up in his eyes. “He’s… visited. He. He knows. He keeps apologizing, but he won’t- he won’t do anything-!”</p><p>Edelgard squeezes Adrian’s pinky as tight as she can.</p><p>*</p><p>“He changed too fast,” Noa whispers against Yuri’s chest. “El kept saying he changed too fast. Like it couldn’t be real.”</p><p>“Who?”</p><p>“Our Uncle. Lord Arundel. Goddess, is that why-?” Noa shivers. “I need to go back in.”</p><p>“<em>Noa</em>,” Yuri pleads.</p><p>Noa takes a deep breath and attempts to steady his posture. “There’s something there. I know it. I just- I need- I need to remember what it is.”</p><p>*</p><p>The rats scatter when a thin, bony body tumbles to the floor. Screams ring out from the eight remaining Hresvelg children.</p><p>“Fiora!!” Percival cries.</p><p>Dante and Darius stare blankly, but their hands tremble in their shackles. Edelgard’s eyes latch onto the faint rise and fall of Fiora’s chest.</p><p>“Sister, please! Please wake up!” Edelgard begs. “Sister!”</p><p>Then a man comes down the stairs. He takes long, dramatic steps as he twirls a dagger in his hand. “You know, your father keeps causing nothing but trouble.”</p><p>Adrian scoots as close as he can to his older sister, but he can’t reach her. Edelgard, at a loss for what to grab, grabs a hold of his foot for comfort.</p><p>“He’s going to save us!” Percival yells. “You’ll see! He’ll come back for us and destroy you!”</p><p>The man’s gaze doesn’t waver from Fiora. Adrian notices a few strands of white hair poking through her matted brown hair. The man moves her chin this way and that, until sighing and raising his dagger.</p><p>“No!” Adrian screams.</p><p>Blood splatters onto Adrian’s face. The man is looking at him now, but tears blur Adrian’s vision. He heaves and screams as the man pulls the blade out of Fiora’s chest.</p><p>“Maybe now your father will mind his own damn business.”</p><p>*</p><p>Noa covers his mouth, heaving. Yuri holds him tight.</p><p>“That’s it,” Yuri says, voice thick. “That’s it. No more.”</p><p>Noa shakes his head. “He- he- I was so close! To seeing his face!”</p><p>“Why does that matter so much to you?” Yuri asks. “You’re torturing yourself, Noa. This is making you hurt.”</p><p>“If it’s that man- If the man that killed Fiora and Percival and Dante is the same- if my hunch is <em>right</em>-” Noa gasps. “I need to be sure of something. I <em>need</em> to be.”</p><p>Yuri runs a hand through Noa’s hair, gentle but firm. “Noa. Please. How important can it be?”</p><p>“It- It could-” Noa chokes out. “It might <em>save</em> El. It might save her. It could save her. She’s all I’ve got. She and Liss are all I’ve got.”</p><p>Yuri winces and holds Noa tighter.</p><p>“Please,” Noa begs. “I promise I’ll never ask anything of you ever again-”</p><p>“Goddess, Noa. Goddess, just…” Yuri leans his forehead against Noa’s. “You get what you need. And then this is <em>done</em>.”</p><p>*</p><p>Adrian lays strapped down on a cold, metal table. The room is bright blue and frigid, and he aches all over. The man stares down at him, ashy-gray skin, white hair and beard, and dark, menacing clothes. He grins at Adrian, earrings dangling close enough to touch Adrian’s nose.</p><p>“A full success,” the man says. “Wonderful. It’s about time. The girl is the only one left.”</p><p>“Thales,” a woman’s voice says. “They do have ears, you know.”</p><p>“They’re just the Fell Star’s beasts. Nothing more, nothing less,” Thales says. “But this one, this one is our creation. Finally, we may have our-”</p><p>Adrian clenches his fists. His arms are bound in front of him. His mind spins and dances in numbers, trying not to think about how Darius had strangled himself on his own restraints. How long ago was that? A week? A month? A year? He can’t tell anymore. He wishes he could follow Darius’ example now, see Fiora’s smile again, hug Percival again-</p><p>“Thales,” the woman hissed.</p><p>Adrian von Hresvelg just wants it all to stop. He wants it to be gone, wants it to be over. Red sparks cloud his vision as he hears Thales and his companion arguing, making sounds of surprise. After a moment, even that fades. Stale air is replaced with a breeze, and Adrian wonders if he’d willed his way up to Sothis herself.</p><p>*</p><p>Noa gasps and grabs a hold of Yuri’s shoulders. He cries and holds Yuri close, nesting a hand in Yuri’s hair.</p><p>“Please,” Yuri begs, “don’t make me do that again.”</p><p>“I- I- I have it-!” Noa manages.</p><p>Yuri pulls back enough to look Noa in the eyes, though he keeps blinking to hold back some tears of his own. “You do?”</p><p>“The man who killed my siblings, poisoned us in order to kill godlike beings, he’s- he’s that person who- the one who protected Monica! The one who stopped Lore from saving Jeralt! I don’t know how but he <em>stole</em> my Uncle’s skin, just like Solon and Kronya stole Tomas and Monica,” Noa says. “And. They’re…”</p><p>“They’re what?”</p><p>“Yuri, they’re still controlling her.” Noa grips onto Yuri’s shoulders. “She’s in danger. I get it now, why she wanted to keep me out of it.”</p><p>Yuri clears his throat and dabs at his eyes, valiantly keeping his composure. “What do we do?”</p><p>“We’re gonna fight their fire with our own.”</p>
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<a name="section0017"><h2>17. 3, 2, 1, Ignition</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Noa is sure he knows what's going to happen in the Holy Tomb. He does his best to alter the course Edelgard is taking.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW: References to various deaths, including suicide and starvation.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Noa’s stomach twists in knots as he watches Lore Eisner ascend the Throne of Knowledge. No doubt Edelgard has wandered away, preparing for the incoming assault. Those who Slither in the Dark are going to make their move, with their puppet Emperor as nothing more than a faceplate. One of his sisters will be a sacrifice if he does nothing.</p><p>Yuri squeezes Noa’s hand. Noa squeezes back, taking a deep breath. It’s now or never, really, and it has to be <em>now</em>.</p><p>“How? What else could be missing…? It was within reach.” Rhea says, distress tinging her voice.</p><p>It’s as good a cue as ever. Noa turns, eyes focused on the platform that had allowed three classes-worth of people to descend deep under the Cathedral of Garreg Mach. With the distraction of Lore’s revelation, no one but Noa and the Wolves notice that the platform holds a different compliment this time.</p><p>Edelgard’s face melts from the hard grimace. In complete silence, her face crushes in on itself like one might grasp a sheet in their fist. The platform slots into place, and the Emperor of Adrestia is rooted to the spot in the armor of the Flame Emperor.</p><p>Gasps of surprise begin to surface among the students as they turn at the sound.</p><p>Now or never.</p><p>A weasel of a man straightens himself up beside Edelgard, attempting to take charge when she herself doesn’t make any sort of movement.</p><p>“Thank you for guiding us this far!” He says with flourish. “The Adrestian Empire shall now take everything-”</p><p>Spells for voice amplification are simple and perfect, fast to cast and cathartic against the skin.</p><p>Noa screams his rallying cry. By Sothis herself, Noa will be heard this time. “Speak for your own allegiance! I will not allow your kind to use my sister any longer!”</p><p>Edelgard tenses, and sharp gasps echo around the tomb. It’s not enough, though. Noa makes a running start into a warp, reappearing in front of her just long enough to latch on and pull her back.</p><p>The weasel’s sword cuts through dead air as Noa replaces himself and Edelgard in the center of the crowd of students.</p><p>She stares at him, hitting his shoulders with her gloved hands. “Noa!”</p><p>“I couldn’t protect you from them when we were young,” he says, clear above the ruckus. “But I will do what I am capable of now.”</p><p>“What is the meaning of this?!” Rhea cries.</p><p>“Who do you think you are?!” The weasel shouts, then he scoffs. “Pah. Like it matters! We’ll kill you just like the rest!”</p><p>“It matters!” Noa says. “My name matters far more than you can even fathom.”</p><p>“Noa!” Edelgard pleads.</p><p>Now or never.</p><p>Now.</p><p>“My name is Adrian von Hresvelg,” Noa declares. “Eighth of the ten children of the Hresvelg line, older brother to Edelgard von Hresvelg! One of only two survivors of your torture! Bearer of this monstrous Crest of Flames you embedded in us!”</p><p>The weasel sneers. “Emperor Edelgard is the only living descendant of Ionius IX.”</p><p>Several of the mages in pitch black clothes stiffen, though, all nervous whispers as they take up a different formation.</p><p>“You people assumed I died. Sometimes I wish I had! But I <em>live</em>. And I will destroy you for tormenting my family!” Noa shouts. “For killing my siblings! For murdering Fiora, Percival, and Dante right in front of us! For driving Darius and Eleanor to commit suicide before our eyes!”</p><p>Breath hisses out from between Edelgard’s teeth. She grips at his shoulders in that way he knows means it’s too much. “Noa.”</p><p>“For leaving Yves and Martel to starve! And for whatever monstrous thing you did to Ignis. The one rare occasion where you <em>didn’t</em> leave the body to rot with us in that damned dungeon!”</p><p>Edelgard claws at him hard enough to bleed, but Noa doesn’t dare let go of her. For an awful moment, Noa wonders if his gambit has failed. She shivers in his arms as a deadly silence weighs heavy in the air. He holds his sister, tight, fighting the tears threatening to break free.</p><p>“Why…?” Edelgard asks. “Why did you have to get involved?!”</p><p>“I’m gonna protect you this time, El,” Noa says, though his voice wavers. “I won’t let <em>anyone</em> hurt you.”</p><p>The mages begin their forward march, followed by the warriors in red. Each heartbeat is an hour now. Noa grips the back of Edelgard’s neck. He wonders if now should have been never, wonders how they could all be so heartless-</p><p>He feels another set of small arms grab onto him. Lysithea’s face presses against his back, warm tears seeping through his shirt. In even less than a heartbeat there’s a familiar clack of a whip sword.</p><p>Lore brandishes the Sword of the Creator, back towards them. She holds one hand up in the signal all houses have come to know as ‘commence attack’. A sob catches on the back of Noa’s throat as Claude holds up an affirmative gesture.</p><p>“Everyone!” He calls. “Let’s take them out!”</p><p>The Golden Deer and Black Eagles classes hold up their weapons, shouting their own affirmatives. Dimitri glances back at Edelgard, Noa, and Lysithea, eyes clear for the first time since Remire. He raises his own lance, crying out his own affirmation before charging in alongside the others.</p><p>The weasel winces on the other side of the room. “Steal everything you can! Kill anyone who resists!”</p><p>*</p><p>Edelgard looks up at her brother, eyes all wide and afraid. It’s as though they’re small again, alone and afraid in the dark.</p><p>“You… If my ascending didn’t condemn Father, that certainly did,” she says.</p><p>Noa pulls one hand away to dispel the remainder of the amplifying spell. “El, I know you’re pissed-”</p><p>“More than- than that! Ugh!” She thumps her fist against his shoulder. “I had plans! I was going to destroy them-!”</p><p>“No one says you can’t!” Lysithea shrieks. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell us!”</p><p>“I was keeping you <em>safe</em>!” Edelgard says. “That’s why I wanted you gone from here! And now… Damn it.”</p><p>“Did it not occur to you that maybe pissing off Fodlan’s two other future leaders was a bad idea?” Noa asks.</p><p>“It’s not like Those who Slither in the Dark will settle for anything less than total domination. You and I both know that! They- they-! It’s not like I would have let them, but the illusion is important!”</p><p>“El, it wouldn’t be an <em>illusion</em> at that point,” Noa argues. “All of Fodlan would be trying to kill you.”</p><p>A sound like swords sliding against each other hits Noa’s ears. He grabs a hold of his sisters, one in each arm, ready to strike. Noa suspects that someone has ducked away to inform Thales of Edelgard’s indiscretion, but this soon-?</p><p>Hubert sighs at him, crossing his arms. “Well, Noa, it seems I’ve underestimated the lengths to which you’ll go.”</p><p>“I will do whatever it takes to protect my sisters from those people,” Noa says.</p><p>“Even <em>ignoring</em> Lady Edelgard’s goals?” Hubert counters.</p><p>Noa grits his teeth. “Oh, like destroying the people who hurt us? I’m pretty sure that’s going to get accomplished now, if you venture to look behind you.”</p><p>Caskets are torn asunder, lids flung to the ground and freshly broken weapons hanging off their edges. Dark blood strikes the ground as the fighting goes on, bodies beginning to pile up on the ground. Many of them are the red-clad warriors, and a handful are from the students’ battalions. Hubert turns in time to see Dimitri impale one of the mages on his lance.</p><p>Hubert is normally the picture of composure. Seeing his fists clench and hearing his breath waver sends alarm running through Noa’s blood.</p><p>Lysithea pries herself out from under Noa’s arm. “They- They need healers I can do that. I have to go!”</p><p>“Liss, be <em>safe</em>!” Noa calls.</p><p>“I’ll be fine!”</p><p>Edelgard shudders, leaning her head against Noa’s shoulder. “Hubert.”</p><p>Hubert irons himself out as much as he can. “Yes, Your Majesty?”</p><p>“You’re a capable healer, too,” Edelgard says. “They need healers, like Lysithea said. Aid them, please.”</p><p>He bites his lips. “You’re sure?”</p><p>Edelgard sighs, looking more tired than Noa has ever seen. “I won’t leave my brother behind. I’m staying here.”</p><p>“As you wish.”</p><p>*</p><p>Rhea joins the fray herself, summoning magic strong enough to leave nothing but ashes of her enemies in her wake. Edelgard winces at the sight, despite it all.</p><p>“You trust her?” Edelgard asks.</p><p>“I trust Claude and Lore,” Noa says. “And hate the ones who hurt us.”</p><p>“That means allying with Rhea,” she says.</p><p>“I’m not saying the Church is flawless, El. I’m just saying that it’s worth it to have more friends than enemies.” Noa, says. “Now, I think we’ve got some defending to do. Stick by my side.”</p><p>“Of course.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. "Reach for my hand, I'll lead the way."</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Edelgard and Noa speak honestly with Seteth and the Archbishop herself. Seteth wonders how a mirror has found its way to Rhea's audience chamber.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Seteth looks over the new Emperor of Adrestia and her brother, standing hand in hand before himself and his own sister. Edelgard is tired, yes, but there’s still enough of a fire in her to keep her upright. Noa von Ordelia, Adrian von Hresvelg really, stands by her side with a much colder look as he gauges Seteth and Rhea.</p><p>Seteth can nearly see the gears turning in Noa’s head. He can’t help but be reminded of moments when he and Rhea were younger, when they were openly Seiros and Cichol. Seiros was his little sister, after all. Cichol would do anything to protect her. Now, Seteth can see that Noa has the same intent with his little sister.</p><p>“Before we begin, I’d like to know how you would like to be addressed, young man,” Rhea says. “Which of the two names do you prefer?”</p><p>“Call me Noa, Your Grace,” the boy says. “For a long time, it was the only one I knew.”</p><p>“Noa. There’s something to be said about the beauty of a name you pick for yourself,” Rhea muses.</p><p>Noa gives a careful nod.</p><p>“Now then. Edelgard, it was said before that you are the new Adrestian Emperor. I’m well aware that you were the heir apparent, at least at the time.” Rhea folds her hands in front of her. “I’d like to ask how it was that you were crowned. Under normal circumstances, I would have needed to be there.”</p><p>“I asked Lore to come to Enbarr with me. As she is the Enlightened One now, I… figured that her presence would suffice,” Edelgard replies. “My father is weakening by the day. I… If I didn’t take power on my own terms, it’d be wrest away from me.”</p><p>Rhea opens her mouth, then closes it again. “She saw it fit to grant your request, then. She has been blessed with the Goddess’ divine knowledge. I have little reason to doubt her judgement.”</p><p>Seteth attempts to keep a neutral gaze at that. He has his suspicions about that, having more than a reasonable handful of doubts. It’s more like a bucketful, really, possibly enough to fill a lakebed. Jeralt’s skepticisms and concerns lay clearly in his diary. Jeralt’s diary holds a litany of physical abnormalities he’d noticed in his children.</p><p>Seeing Edelgard and Noa’s unnaturally pale forms made Seteth’s mind whirl. And the Crest of Flames residing in both of them…? Not to mention the health issues the Ordelia children are known to have.</p><p>Seteth’s stomach churns. He’s sure the same health issues apply to Edelgard.</p><p>“According to Noa’s statements,” Seteth says, “you both have been suffering for quite some time.”</p><p>“El more than me,” Noa interjects. “I got out. She didn’t. She suffered far more than I.”</p><p>Noa tilts his body forward as if to shield Edelgard, and the Emperor in turn grabs a hold of the back of Noa’s shirt. She looks at him with wide and pleading eyes.</p><p>“Our suffering is not a contest,” she says.</p><p>“I know, I know. But you <em>did</em> have to put up with it longer. You <em>couldn’t</em> escape.”</p><p>Edelgard’s other fist clenches hard, and her mouth flattens into a straight line. “You make me sound helpless.”</p><p>Seteth has seen that expression many times. It reminds him sharply of Seiros as a young girl, two years after Zanado, sword in hand and knuckles clenched so tight that they bleed.</p><p>Rhea’s knuckles are white where she clasps her hands. “You would do anything for your family, wouldn’t you, Edelgard?”</p><p>Edelgard keeps her gaze level, though there is a far stronger flame burning beneath. “Yes. But what I can do now is limited. All I can hope to do now is try to ensure that this doesn’t happen again. That’s all I can hope to give to those left behind after such horrible things. And I would do <em>anything</em> to survive long enough to see it through.”</p><p>Rhea hums, a hint of a smile on her face. “Then you shall have my blessing, Emperor Edelgard von Hresvelg, and my protection.”</p><p>“Are you sure you want to give that?” Edelgard asks.</p><p>Noa’s eyes nearly pop out of his head. “El!”</p><p>“The current Crest system of nobility is flawed, and those <em>monsters</em> know how to manipulate it,” Edelgard says. “And the Church backs it without question. If you intend to offer your protection, you’d best know exactly what you’re agreeing to. To truly stamp them out would be to break the system as it stands. If you have doubts, now would be the time to voice them.”</p><p>Noa is panicked, holding onto Edelgard’s arm, magic crackling along his fingertips. Fear dances in his eyes as he searches both Rhea and Seteth for mercy. Seteth has never been as scholarly about magic as his sister, and recognition dawns in Rhea’s eyes.</p><p>Instead of taking her warrior’s demeanor, though, Rhea seems to relax. “You certainly have the blood of Seiros in you.”</p><p>Edelgard’s face is awash with confusion. In fact, so is Noa’s, and even Seteth’s own. That isn’t the reaction anyone in the room expected.</p><p>“Excuse me?” Edelgard says.</p><p>“When Saint Seiros approached Wilhelm Paul Hresvelg, it was in a situation much like your own. Smart, but afraid and angry. The system at the time benefited Wilhelm, and yet he was her only option. Seiros would not have been surprised if he’d chosen to slay her,” Rhea says.</p><p>Edelgard and Noa stiffen.</p><p>“He chose to spare her, though. Chose to <em>save</em> her,” Rhea continues. “A kindness the Church and Saint Seiros herself have never forgotten. I believe it is time that the Church extends its hand in return to the remnants of the Hresvelg line.”</p><p>Edelgard stands agape. “Just like that?”</p><p>“Believe it or not, I know what it is like to be personally impacted by people like them.” Rhea unlaces her fingers, and holds out a hand. “To have lost family to their hands. I will do whatever it takes to crush them, Edelgard. Regardless of all else, you have my word on that.”</p><p>Edelgard is silent for a moment, considering. Noa is jittery, eyes wide as he looks between Rhea, Seteth, and his sister. Seteth himself can’t help but find himself a mirror, looking for tricks in Edelgard’s posture just as Noa looks for tricks within Rhea.</p><p>Rhea continues to hold her hand out to the young Emperor. Perhaps Seteth isn’t the only one feeling as though he is looking at a reflection.</p><p>“I… I am grateful, Archbishop.” Edelgard is slow and shaking, but takes Rhea’s hand nonetheless. “To the destruction of Those Who Slither in the Dark, and the new dawn that will bring.”</p><p>Rhea nods. “So that this may never happen again.”</p>
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<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Bone Fragments</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Manuela realizes why Noa asked about a spell regarding memories. Noa is too tired to avoid the conversation.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s early morning when Noa finds himself ambushed by the love of his life and Garreg Mach’s premier white magic professor. He sits at the war table, the last of the young leaders remaining from the last conference. Manuela slams her hands down on the table in front of Noa, jostling him out of the half-sleep tugging at his mind.</p><p>“Do you know how reckless that was?!” She says, teeth grit and nails scratching against the wood.</p><p>Noa startles, pushing himself backward. “Excuse me?”</p><p>“You know <em>exactly</em> what I’m referring to!” Manuela replies.</p><p>It’s then that Yuri puts his hands on Noa’s shoulders, soft but firm. He can’t back away from this now.</p><p>“If I had to get this lecture,” Yuri says, “so do you.”</p><p>Noa sighs, leaning his head back.</p><p>“If I’d known what you were going to <em>do</em> with that spell-!” Manuela starts.</p><p>“Then you would have stopped me, and I wouldn’t have had enough of me left to save El,” Noa cuts her off. “I did what I had to.”</p><p>She exhales through her nose, putting one hand to her face. “Yuri is a damned field medic. What would you have done if the spell failed? What would you have made <em>him</em> have to do if the spell failed?”</p><p>Noa bites his lip. “It was a big risk. Yeah.”</p><p>“Well, that’s an understatement,” Yuri says.</p><p>Noa’s eyes slip shut. He rubs at them, fending off the ache of exhaustion. “It was a shot in the dark.”</p><p>“The consequences could have been greater than you know,” Manuela says. “They might still be. Yuri showed me the variants he used, which, while brilliant, are completely untested.”</p><p>“The consequences of the Holy Tomb confrontation would have been worse than what <em>might</em> happen to me,” Noa sighs.</p><p>Manuela sighs, and Noa can hear her bracelets rattle as she pantomimes words she can’t quite get out. Yuri nests his face in Noa’s hair, his grip shifting so his arms wrap around Noa’s shoulders.</p><p>“Sweetheart,” Yuri says softly. “That’s not the right answer, and you know it.”</p><p>Noa lifts up his hand, pressing his palm against Yuri’s. Yuri’s grip loosens on his own sleeve, and interlocks with Noa’s fingers just a little too tight.</p><p>Oh.</p><p>Noa winces, squeezing back. “Yuri...”</p><p>“I’m proud of you, you know,” Yuri says. “But you did scare the shit out of me. And you keep scaring the shit out of me.”</p><p>Noa opens his eyes and catches sight of Manuela looking just as tired as he feels. “I’m sorry. Yuri, Professor Manuela… I didn’t realize the situation I was putting you both in. I won’t try to justify it. Thank you for sticking by me.”</p><p>Manuela offers a worn smile. She straightens her coat absentmindedly. “That’s better.”</p><p>Yuri shifts, pressing his chin to the top of Noa’s head. Noa tries to look up at Yuri, but can’t move much without jostling Yuri off of him. Manuela frowns at the face Yuri is making, rubbing her forehead.</p><p>“I can’t imagine the situation you were in, either, Noa,” Manuela sighs. “I may not have a mind for politics, but… I get wanting to save your family.”</p><p>“It would be El against the world. I couldn’t let that happen. She’d barely have a twenty five percent chance of surviving it all,” Noa says. “I can’t lose her. And I can’t let her lose <em>me</em> for a second time.”</p><p>“And you did it,” Yuri hums. “Talks are going well, the Archbishop herself has even given support. Things couldn’t have gone better.”</p><p>“For now,” Noa says. “Only for now.”</p><p>“Well, ‘for now’ means you have at least a little time for getting the right amount of rest,” Manuela says. “Or am I going to have to break out certain orders to make you recover right?”</p><p>Noa’s face pinches at one side. “But… I’m fine. It’s not like a war wound.”</p><p>Manuela shakes her head, leaning on the war table. “Noa, it is a war wound. Maybe it’s not the same as when you took that damned axe to the chest, but it’s still a wound. One that needs a lot more care than you’re giving right now.”</p><p>Noa blinks. “What?”</p><p>“In theory, your arm was broken and didn’t set properly. You just re-broke your arm,” Manuela says. “The anesthesia is gonna wear off, Noa, and you barely have a cast on.”</p><p>Noa’s shoulders sag. “So, the mind can work like that?”</p><p>“Yes,” Manuela says. “It can. And it does. So you need to be nice to yourself, and for the Goddess’ sake, don’t pull too many more all-nighters like this.”</p><p>Yuri hums by Noa’s ear. “I believe that’s my cue to whisk you away to your bedroom so you actually get some fucking sleep.”</p><p>Manuela stifles a snort behind her hand.</p><p>“Yuri,” Noa half-sighs, half-laughs. “Fine, but only if you stay.”</p><p>“Like I’d do anything else. I’ve missed you the past few days,” Yuri replies, pressing a kiss to the crown of Noa’s head. “Being alone with you is the greatest indulgence I can think of.”</p><p>“Oh for the love of-” Manuela cuts herself off with a laugh, walking towards the door. “What I wouldn’t give to have something like that. You two better take care of each other.”</p><p>Noa gives Yuri’s hand another squeeze, leaning into where his lover is holding him. “Planning on it.”</p>
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<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Sugar</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dimitri speaks with Noa and Edelgard. Edelgard starts to remember things she lost, and Dimitri himself recovers something of his own.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“May I join you?”</p><p>Noa looks up at Dimitri, the picture of calm compared to Edelgard. She’s been prone to startle easier ever since the debacle at the Holy Tomb, even if she won’t admit it. She hides it well enough, he thinks, and takes that as reason enough not to bring it up.</p><p>She folds her hands under her chin. “Ah, Dimitri.”</p><p>“Yes, come sit and eat with us,” Noa says, patting the place at the table in front of them.</p><p>Noa is relaxed enough for both himself and Edelgard, he decides. He welcomes Dimitri into their space as though he’d been expecting the prince. Noa nibbles at his Saghert and Cream in small motions, practiced as to be able to swallow down quick to keep conversation going even though hunger is grating at him. Simple and noble right down to a T, reminding him of a certain lecture about manners Edelgard had given him years ago.</p><p>“Thank you,” Dimitri responds, taking a seat on the bench. He sits opposite them, but between their gazes.</p><p>Edelgard raises her eyebrows at Dimitri when she realizes he has the same dish that they do. “I… I didn’t realize you had a sweet tooth.”</p><p>Dimitri tilts his head, taking his turn to be confused. “What? We used to have this together all the time in Fhirdiad. It was one of your favorites.”</p><p>Edelgard blinks, brows quirking downward as she presses the back of her spoon to her mouth. “We... we what? I’m sure I’d remember something like that.”</p><p>Dimitri thinks he tastes something bitter for a moment, but then it’s gone. “You really don’t remember? El…”</p><p>Edelgard’s eyes unfocus, gazing at her plate instead of directly at him. Noa gives her shoulder a squeeze, looking at Dimitri in her place. Come to think of it, Dimitri has seen that unfocused, aimless look on Noa’s face before sometimes. He’d never gotten close enough to know why, but now Dimitri has a pretty good idea what caused it.</p><p>Dimitri knows he’s right when Noa’s mouth turns up at one corner, a melancholy excuse for a smile.</p><p>“El, it’s natural that you’d forget stuff after all that,” Noa says.</p><p>“Did I go to Fhirdiad?” she asks, soft and more to herself than anything.</p><p>“You were there, yes. Uncle took you,” Noa says. “And you met a boy named Dimitri who was sweet and noble and true, like something out of a fairytale.”</p><p>Edelgard attempts to hide her face. “Oh, I’m sure I didn’t say that.”</p><p>Dimitri’s eyes nearly pop out of his head in response, though. “Did she?”</p><p>Noa gives a quiet little giggle. “She didn’t <em>say</em> that, I came to those conclusions whenever she told me about you. It was one of the ways she kept us sane, telling us stories about you.”</p><p>Nervous joy is cut down fast. It falls to its knees as Dimitri realizes, with horror, just how heavy those words are.</p><p>“In another life,” Noa says with a laugh, “I would have had a crush on you.”</p><p>“All I remember is babbling, Noa,” Edelgard sighs. “Percival was the one telling stories.”</p><p>“Oh, he did ‘til he couldn’t anymore. But you took us on a verbal tour of Fhirdiad,” Noa says.</p><p>“Did I babble at all then?”</p><p>“Yes, you did,” Noa says. “Saying something about cutting a path to the future over and over again. Sometimes garbled, sometimes not.”</p><p>Edelgard is so perfectly still that Dimitri has half the inclination to shout for a healer, but then Noa puts his hand on her shoulder and she springs forward, leaning over the table.</p><p>“The dagger,” she says, out of breath. “You. You were the one who gave it to me all those years ago.”</p><p>Dimitri’s shoulders sag, and he makes no effort to set them straight. “I wasn’t sure what else to give you. I wanted to give you something you could use.”</p><p>“You… You certainly did,” she says. “That dagger… Oh, Dimitri…”</p><p>His mouth pulls into a thin line. “I imagine after everything that happened that you don’t have it anymore.”</p><p>“No, no.” She tugs one of her belts around to be just a bit more visible. A small, blue-hilted blade rests at her hip. “I carry it with me instead of the Academy’s ceremonial sword. I could never leave it behind after I was let out of that forsaken place…”</p><p>Dimitri swallows hard on sight of it. He swears he tastes sugar. “So you did keep it.”</p><p>“Of course. I-” recognition trickles into Edelgard’s eyes, and her palms shake. “I was so flustered. You surprised me, giving me such a dangerous gift. <em>That</em> was Fhirdiad. How in the world could I have-?”</p><p>“Hey,” Noa interrupts, pulling at Edelgard’s sleeve. “Slow down.”</p><p>Edelgard shakes her head. “No, I want to remember it all. Every single gap.”</p><p>“No, you don’t. Sit. Please.”</p><p>Edelgard does as Noa asks, albeit reluctantly. Dimitri doesn’t realize he’s biting his tongue, until he tastes blood in his mouth, warm and metallic and disgusting.</p><p>Tastes. Oh, Goddess. How long has it been since the last time…?</p><p>“If you pull shit with Recall like I did, you’re gonna get an earful from every healer in Garreg Mach,” Noa says. “Especially Manuela. And then Manuela will probably give <em>me</em> another earful.”</p><p>Edelgard’s face scrunches up in the middle, much like a face Dimitri had seen her make when they were children. “Right. Patience. Ugh, I wish I could fill every single gap right this second.”</p><p>“Give it time. Don’t go breaking yourself, El,” Noa says.</p><p>Dimitri can’t help but laugh, really. He’s not sure what he feels now. Both the Hresvelgs turn to look at him, with different shades of alarm on their faces.</p><p>“No wonder you were so distant,” Dimitri says. “You didn’t even remember.”</p><p>Edelgard sighs out her nose. “I didn’t. I don’t know how I lost those memories. I… I tried to hold on.”</p><p>“Sometimes that’s not under our control,” Noa interjects. “You held onto more than I did, after all.”</p><p>Edelgard’s smile is pained. “…That’s true enough, I suppose.”</p><p>“Right,” Dimitri hums. “You’re Adrian von Hresvelg. I know it, logically, but…”</p><p>Noa shrugs. “It’s weird, I know. I’m still getting used to it. I’d still prefer to be called Noa, though. ‘Adrian’ feels more like a title now.”</p><p>“Fair enough,” Dimitri says. “I know all about being referred to by a title rather than a name. It can be rather disheartening.”</p><p>Noa blinks slow, almost catlike, with a little smile that reminds Dimitri of when Ashe is filing something away for future use. “I can imagine. Well, I don’t intend to stop calling you by name, regardless of whether it’s proper or not.”</p><p>Dimitri shakes his head. “Well, I think since you’re also a prince, it doesn’t matter. We’re of equal station. I think.”</p><p>Noa blinks. “…Shit, I am a prince, aren’t I?”</p><p>Edelgard swats tiredly at Noa’s shoulder. “Not with that mouth you’re not.”</p><p>Noa snorts. “Oh, like you don’t swear like the rest of them around certain ears.”</p><p>Edelgard hides a non-response behind a well-timed sip of tea.</p><p>Dimitri snorts. “All propriety does in that respect is put walls between people.”</p><p>“Now that,” Edelgard says, “I can agree with. Perhaps it’s something we can change in the days ahead.”</p><p>The taste of blood has faded off Dimitri’s tongue. All that’s left now is the sugar-sweet from his meal.</p><p>“Possibly,” Dimitri says. “I have a feeling that much is going to change.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I heard somewhere about Dimitri losing his sense of taste after the Tragedy. I like to imagine maybe he gets it back when he starts to heal.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Lowlight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Noa is ready to say something. Is Yuri prepared to hear it?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A little privacy can go a long way in Abyss. It’s a limited thing, though, and Yuri can almost count the seconds before Balthus or one of his crew bursts in to ask him about something. Normally it’s a comforting thing, a guarantee that he wasn’t alone, but right now he wants the whole damn world to leave him alone for another hour or two. Maybe the whole day if he can get away with it.</p><p>Noa von Ordelia rests between Yuri’s arms, all tired and contented. His hair is splayed out on Yuri’s pillow, white blending with white. Noa’s eyes slide open lazily as he wipes sleep from his eyes.</p><p>Yuri can’t help but tease. “Have a nice nap, sleeping beauty?”</p><p>Noa laughs, pink dusting his cheeks as he swats Yuri’s shoulder lightly. “Surprised you didn’t wake me back up for more.”</p><p>“Oh, come on. I may be a liar and a thief, but I’m not an asshole.”</p><p>Noa makes a sweet little sound, somewhere between a giggle and a soft hum, as he shifts to nuzzle into Yuri’s chest. It’s such a natural and easy motion on Noa’s part that it makes Yuri’s breath catch in his throat. Noa stretches a loose arm over Yuri’s hips.</p><p>If anyone walks through the door Yuri is going to tell them to fuck right off, he isn’t going anywhere for a while.</p><p>“That being said, you feeling alright? You passed out real fast.” Yuri asks.</p><p>“Mmhm,” Noa hums. “I’m good, just sleepy. Gimme ten and I-”</p><p>“That isn’t why I asked, but if you’re offering I certainly won’t say no.” Yuri moves his hand to run it through Noa’s hair. “But. You don’t have to.”</p><p>Noa squints up at Yuri. “Do I look that much like shit?”</p><p>“You never look like shit. Try all you want, but you’re still handsome as hell.”</p><p>“Yuri.”</p><p>“You have circles under your eyes.”</p><p>“Mm, there it is,” Noa sighs. “Had a rough few nights, that’s all. Let me stay and they’ll be gone come morning.”</p><p>“Alright,” Yuri concedes. “No more ‘til they’re gone, though.”</p><p>Noa makes a grunt of disapproval so graceless and low that Yuri can’t help but laugh.</p><p>“Still can’t get enough of me, huh?”</p><p>Noa buries his face further in Yuri’s chest, the tips of his ears turning pink.</p><p>“Aww-”</p><p>“Shut up.”</p><p>“I haven’t even said anything.”</p><p>“But you’re going to, I know it.”</p><p>Yuri lets the conversation slip at that point. Noa is right, Yuri has a lot he wants to say. It’s all jumbled in a messy heap in a corner of his mind he’d been neglecting, though. Months before, hell, even two weeks before he’d be content to just let it sit. Now, though?</p><p>Yuri props Noa up slightly to get a better vantage point to wrap his arms around the boy. This feeling hasn’t wavered once, and Yuri thinks that it won’t. Maybe he really <em>does</em> want this to last forever.</p><p>“Hey, Noa?”</p><p>Noa hums in response, right against Yuri’s skin. It feels nice enough that Yuri curses Noa internally for doing so many stupid little attractive things.</p><p>“Why do you keep coming back down here?”</p><p>Noa makes a small, surprised noise at that. “You say that like you’re not my boyfriend.”</p><p>It still catches Yuri off guard to hear that. No matter how many times Noa calls him something sweet, Yuri can never quite get used to it. Now Noa looks up at him with those pretty red-violet eyes, and traces his hand up and down Yuri’s spine absentmindedly. It weaves sparks and shivers down the whole of Yuri’s back, but not in the way he expects.</p><p>There’s a difference between lighting a campfire and lighting a firework, after all, and this is so gentle and warm.</p><p>“Well, I am,” Yuri replies. “But still.”</p><p>Noa gives a content sigh through his nose. “I’m comfortable here.”</p><p>“In Abyss?”</p><p>“With <em>you</em>.”</p><p>Yuri really should know by now that Noa can knock the breath out of his lungs with something as simple as two words. Nerves seep into Yuri’s blood, but that wasn’t the only reason that his heart is starting to beat faster. There aren’t any walls when it comes to Noa. The damned white haired brat knows how to dig tunnels. Or just always has a battering ram on hand. Yuri can never decide which one it is, the way he crumbles feels different every time.</p><p>Noa takes Yuri’s face in his hands. His eyes are less tired now, but more worried. “Hey.”</p><p>Yuri shakes his head, but not enough to dislodge Noa’s hands. “Absolutely not. You’re not allowed to give me that look.”</p><p>“Yuri.” Noa sighs. “You’re the one giving looks like you’re feeling guilty.”</p><p>Yuri shifts them both so he hovers above Noa, leaning on his elbows. “I don’t regret a damn thing.”</p><p>“Guilt doesn’t always mean regret, hon.”</p><p>Noa just keeps on sighing. It’s a good thing he doesn’t have Hapi’s talent. Oh well. This is Noa, after all, might as well fess up. Best to uncork the bottle before it explodes.</p><p>“You could have any noble asshole you want,” Yuri says. “You could woo any of them and get your way. And you keep choosing me. You always choose me.”</p><p>Noa looks up at him, eyes shimmering and bright. He’s quiet for a long time, before breaking the silence with a shaky breath. “Are you gonna stay if I tell you why?”</p><p>Yuri can feel the heat rising to his cheeks. His heart is just about ready to pound right out of his chest, and Noa is so completely at his mercy. Sweet Goddess above, how in the hell did this even happen?</p><p>“Tell me,” Yuri breathes.</p><p>“Okay. I’ve been waiting to tell you for a long time,” Noa says. “I love you.”</p><p>The words hang so heavy in the air that Yuri thinks they might make his ribcage collapse. Still, he doesn’t mind it. Noa can reach in and dig his nails into his heart and Yuri won’t dare raise a complaint. He strokes the side of Noa’s face. Forever sounds nice, Yuri decides. It’s no longer a terrifying what if.</p><p>When tears appear on Noa’s face he thinks that maybe he didn’t act fast enough, but then Noa reaches up.</p><p>Oh. Yuri is the one who’s crying.</p><p>“…Too much?” Noa asks, all soft around the edges as he wipes the tears away.</p><p>Yuri pulls Noa up to sit on his lap and draws Noa into a kiss. He holds Noa as tight as he can muster. Maybe it is too much. Yuri feels it in every inch of his body, and outward into every part of Noa he can touch.</p><p>“How long?” Yuri asks.</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>“How long have you been sure?”</p><p>Noa smiles, though it’s odd at the edges. “Since… Since the Ball at least. Honestly, probably <em>truly</em> since Remire, when you confided in me. I always <em>liked</em> you, always felt like it could be love, but that’s when I decided for sure that it was.”</p><p>Noa is loose, almost limp, in Yuri’s arms. It hits Yuri all at once that Noa is giving him a chance to run. A chance to take Noa’s heart in his hands and smash it, and leave without saying goodbye. The thought alone almost reignites his tears.</p><p>Forever. Forever sounds nice.</p><p>“I… I love you too,” Yuri says, finally. “More than I can say.”</p><p>He doesn’t need any other words, really. He lets himself be drawn in again by Noa’s soft lips as Noa finally holds him inescapably tight.</p>
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